Fantasy Achievers

Achievers/Bums - Opening Day Edition

2010-04-06T05:38:00.005-04:00

Welcome back baseball! Here are the little urban achievers and bums from the first day (sorry Sunday Night Baseball) of the season.

ACHIEVERS

Jason Heyward - OF - Braves - 2/5, HR, 4 RBI. I think that this guy will have a great MLB career. That being said, SELL, SELL, SELL. Seriously, when will his value be any higher than it is this morning? Sell him to That Guy in your league.

David Wright - 3B - Mets - 1/3, HR, 2 RBI. It is very nice to see Wright hit an HR in his first game. In my bold predictions, I lamented Wright's missing power. It would be great to be proven wrong.

Garrett Jones - OF - Pirates - 2/4, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, 3 Rs. Last season, Jones put a line of .293/21/44 in just 82 games. Hopefully, this is the start of a great season for him and the Buccos.

BUMS

Carlos Zambrano - SP - Cubs - 1.1 IP, 8 ERs, L. I don't like to overvalue early pitching performances, but this was just nasty. Not a good start for da Cubs.

Jason Frasor - RP - Blue Jays - .1 IP, L, BS. Newly named closer Jason Frasor did not win over many fans with his debut. Frasor's collapse also wasted Shawn Marcum's fine effort (7.0 IP, 6 Ks, 3 ERs). Maybe Tom Henke is working at a local LensCrafters.

Baseball terms that sound like sexual euphemisms in the wrong context - Golden Sombrero

2010-03-06T20:22:00.003-05:00

Per Wikipedia, a "golden sombrero is a slang term used to describe a player's inglorious feat of striking out four times in a single game."

When does this sound dirty?

“So, last night, she came back to my house, and I gave her a(n) golden sombrero, if you know what I mean. "

Catcher - 2010 Rankings

2010-03-06T20:03:00.011-05:00

I am not going to spend a lot of time on catcher, and neither should you. I don’t like spending a high pick on a catcher. My goal is to find a player in the later rounds who is healthy and will not hurt you in any categories.

First Tier

Joe Mauer – Twins

Joe Mauer had an incredible season in 2009 with a line of .365/28/96. However, his power numbers were tremendously increased from previous career highs. Mauer’s 28 HRs marked only the second time that he reached double digits in HRs (previous high was 13 in 2006). With such a discrepancy, it is logical to worry about a reduction to the mean. With Mauer costing a premium pick (current 7.5 rank), I would draft a safe IF (Longoria, Fielder, Howard, Teixeira, Cabrera).

Second Tier

Victor Martinez – Red Sox

VM is in a contract year and will be allowed to spend more time at 1B and DH, allowing him some extra rest. I would consider using a 3^rd round pick on him, but I would rather grab a good Middle IF (Roberts, Phillps, Cano, Reyes).

The rest of my Top 10

Brian McCann, Russell Martin, Miguel Montero, Kurt Suzuki, Jorge Posada, Mike Napoli, Geovany Soto, Matt Wieters.

I really like Kurt Suzuki. Healthy (147 Games), plays for an AL team, and puts up solid numbers (.274/15/88). He is great pick at 149.7 ADP.

I believe the correct way to pronounce Matt Wieters is “2009 Geovany Soto.” Don’t waste a high pick on the prospect.

Third Base - 2010 Preview

2010-02-22T20:39:00.007-05:00

For 2010, 3B is like an episode of a CBS nighttime drama. You have your established star (A-Rod), your young hotshot (Longoria), a mystery (David Wright and his missing power) and somebody really, really old (Chipper Jones).

First Tier

Alex Rodriguez – Yankees. Yes, he has been around forever, and he is an admitted steroid user. He also puts out great numbers (.286/30/100 in only 124 games) and plays for the strongest line-up in the AL. If you are drafting in the 3rd spot of your draft, your choice should come down to Chase Utley or A-Rod.

Second Tier

Evan Longoria – Rays – The former 1st round pick (2006) put up numbers worthy of his pedigree (.281/33/113 with 100 Rs). Yahoo’s overall pre-ranks have him at 11 overall right behind David Wright at 10. Be smart, and take the sure thing with Longoria.

Third Tier

Ryan Zimmerman, Kevin Youkilis, David Wright, Mark Reynolds

Ryan Zimmerman is a poor man’s Evan Longoria. Zimmerman has a great pedigree (1st round pick 2005) and better numbers than Longoria in 2009 (.292/33/106 with 110 Rs), but is tarnished by the stink that is the Washington Nationals. With Adam Dunn behind him again and an actual leadoff man (Nyjer Morgan) in front of him, Zimmerman should easily match last year’s numbers. Take advantage of his Zimmerman’s lower ADP (Yahoo – 37.7) and lock up a solid 1B with your first pick.

Kevin Youkilis is boring, but solid (.307/27/95 with 99 Rs in only 136 games). Youkilis currently has a 29.9 ADP. I wouldn’t overpay for him, but Youkilis will give you reliable figures.
To be blunt, David Wright is extremely overvalued. Last year, Wright experienced an abrupt drop in power, moving from .302/33/124 in 2008 to .307/10/72 in 2009. On Yahoo, he is currently ranked 10 overall with an ADP of 12.1. While Wright has potential to improve, why would you risk a 1st or 2nd round pick on him? Ignore Wright and focus those high picks on sure things (Longoria, Teixeira, Howard, Fielder, Cabrera).

As I mentioned in the 1B rankings, Reynolds has tremendous potential, but bears the weight of 223Ks. As 3B is lacking the depth of 1B, I think Reynolds is a better risk at this position, especially at his current Yahoo ADP of 49.3.

The rest of my Top 10

Pablo Sandoval, Aramis Ramirez, Chone Figgins, Michael Young

Sandoval is similar to Reynolds in that he is a better pick up at 3B than 1B.
I want to like A-Ram, but last season’s injury-plagued campaign (only 82 games) the beginning of the decline?

Figgins hurts you at HR and RBI (5/54), but helps you with R/AVG/SBs (114/.298/42). However, I would be wary of the pending jinx from his new contract (4-year/$36 million) and weak lineup (Jose Lopez, Milton Bradley, Casey Kotchman and Ken Griffey, Jr.)

Michael Young hit more HRs last year (22) than he did in the past two seasons (21). Pick him for his AVG (.302 career) and don’t expect much else.

Don’t forget about ..

Gordon Beckham - White Sox – The 2008 1st round pick has quickly found success in the majors. I would not avoid him, but except some decline as the league adjusts to him.

Jorge Cantu – Marlins- Cantu put up decent numbers overall (.289/16/100). Not a bad pick up at 154 ADP.

But what about …

Chipper Jones – Braves – Dude is old. I like Chipper in later rounds a Utility/DH, but he is too fragile to be relied on your primary 3B.

Chris Davis – Rangers In 2008, Chris Davis hit 17 HRs in 80 games, leading to great expectations for his first full season in 2009. Before you could say “Kevin Maas,” he followed his debut with a stinky line of .238/21/59. Let him be.

Baseball terms that sound like sexual euphemisms in the wrong context - Intentional Base on Balls

2010-02-14T15:02:00.001-05:00

Per Wikipedia, “an intentional base on balls, usually referred to as an intentional walk and denoted in baseball scorekeeping by IBB, is a walk issued to a batter by a pitcher with the intent of removing the batter's opportunity to swing at the pitched ball.”

When does this sound dirty?

“So, last night, she came back to my house, and I gave her a(n) Intentional Base on Balls, if you know what I mean.

Shortstop - 2010 Preview

2010-02-14T14:43:00.003-05:00

Shortstop is not as glorious as it was a few years ago with A-Rod, a roided Miguel Tejada,and a younger Jimmy Rollins roaming the middle infield, but there are still some very good players in the top tiers, with some solid if not exceptional players in the later rounds.

First Tier

Hanley Ramirez – Marlins. HanRam did not flinch in moving to the 3^rd spot in the line-up last season, responding with a .342/24/106 with 101 Rs and 27 SBs. In my mock drafts, I have alternated my #1 pick between him and St. Albert. For some reason, my teams seem better in the end with Pujols, but Hanley is a great #1 pick.

Second Tier

Troy Tulowitzki – Rockies – Tulo recovered from his injury-riddled sophomore slump with a resounding line of .297/32/92. I am still scarred from 2009, but numbers, like hips, don’t lie, including a .344/16/55 post-All Star line.

Jose Reyes – Mets – There is no way around it – 2009 was awful for Reyes. While it might be risky to invest in a SBs guy recovering from hamstring surgery, I think that Reyes will bounce back. Despite how weak the Mets’ line-up is, Reyes can generate his own numbers, averaging 65 SBs, 113 Rs and 158 Games from to 2005 to 2008.

Third Tier

Derek Jeter – Yankees – I don’t want to like Jeter for multiple reasons, including his advanced baseball age (35 years), numerous World Series rings (5) and unnecessarily hot girlfriend (Minka Kelly). However, he brings good numbers every year and will have A-Rod behind him for a whole season, in addition to having A-Rod batting behind him for the whole season.

Jimmy Rollins – Phillies – I don’t think Rollins will return to the numbers he reached in his prime (.296/30/94 with 139 Rs and 41 SBs in 2007), but he is still a good player at a weak position. Like Jeter, he has a great line-up behind him, but I would not risk a 3^rd pick on him.

The rest of my Top Ten

Jason Barlett, Yunel Escobar, Ben Zorbist, Elvis Andrus, Alexei Ramirez

Bartlett and Zorbist are both on the Tampa Bay Rays, and both have SS eligibility. I would take Bartlett over Zorbist. In the minors, Zobrist highest HR total was 7 in 61 games in 2007. Don’t expect him to continue last year’s pace.

The only difference to me between Escobar (.299/14/76) and Ramierz is (.277/15/68) is Ramirez’s advantage in SBs (14 to 5). I would not overreach for Alexei, unless you receive points for the unnecessary extra “E” in his name.

I like Elvis Andrus. Last season, he had 33 SBs in 148 games. You can pick up him up late (104.7 ADP at CouchManagers.com) , and he plays with good lineup in a hitter’s park. If you miss out on a great player early, remember that Elvis is everywhere.

But what about …

Rafael Furcal, Miguel Tejeda

Sorry, but their time is past. I thought that Furcal would recover from his back injury last year, but it did not happen (.269/9/47 with 12 SBs.) Tejeda had a good season with the Astros (.313/14/86), but he will not repeat it in the AL with the Orioles.

Don’t forget about

Orlando Cabrera - Reds

Orlando Cabrera is always available in the late rounds, and he always provides decent production, including .282/9/77 with 83 Rs in 2009. If you don’t want to waste an early pick on SS, you can start the season with Cabrera and try to trade up as the season begins.

Second Base - 2010 Preview

2010-02-10T21:58:00.008-05:00

Second base has some great players this year. While not as deep as 1B, there are some players that can help you across most categories.

First Tier

Chase Utley – Phillies - Like the cheese, Utley stands alone at 2B. Last season, Utley brought .282/31/93 with 112 Rs and 23 SBs to boot. While the general lack of depth at 3B steers me toward A-Rod for # 3 in my mocks, you can’t go wrong with Utley.

Second Tier

Ian Kinsler – Rangers - Kinsler came into his own last season with .253/31/86 with 101 Rs and 31 SBs. His lack of average (down from .319 in 2008) keeps him out of first tier range, but it is tough to find this production at this position.

Third Tier

Brandon Phillips, Brian Roberts, Robinson Cano, Dustin Pedoria

Phillips puts up very similar numbers to Kinsler (.276/20/98 with 78 Rs and 25 SBs). If you don’t want to spend a high pick on Kinsler, Phillips is a great substitute.

In my drafts, I find myself picking Brian Roberts a lot. With a 2009 line of .283/16/79 with 110 Rs and 30 SBs, he helps you with SBs without hurting you at RBIs. Even in a weak Orioles line-up, a guy who hits 56 doubles will still be able to get you some runs. You can grab him with your 4^th pick depending on the size of your draft.

The rest of my Top Ten

Aaron Hill, Ben Zobrist, Dan Uggla, Jose Lopez

Hill and Zobrist worry me, as their numbers last season seem ready made for fall to earth this season. I would rather waste a higher draft pick on a sure thing, but if I had to pick, I would grab Zobrist as Tampa Bay’s line-up appears stronger.

Uggla’s awful batting average (.243 in 2009) scares me every year, but he has hit 31 or more HRs since 2007. You could do much worse at 85.6 ADP. Lopez is in the same category. In drafts where I am looking behind on RBIs, I have taken Lopez, who had 96 RBIs last year and will now have Chone Figgins hitting ahead of him.

But what about …

Howie Kendrick – LA Angels

Yahoo’s Preseason Ranks have him at 9. Why? Despite a good 2^nd half (.358 AVG), he has yet to put together a full season and does not seem to stand out at any category.

Bobby Bonilla Update

2010-02-10T21:42:00.003-05:00

I frankly cannot believe that this is true, but it is on the internet so it must be.

Courtesty of Phour Phour

http://phourforphour.wordpress.com/2010/01/21/remember-bobby-bonilla-the-mets-do/

First Base - 2010 Preview

2010-02-10T21:33:00.008-05:00

The Marina Trench, The Federal Deficit. The Grand Canyon. Paris Hilton’s … bank account. Like all of these examples, first base is quite deep this year. While you will be tempted to fill a shallow position and put off 1B until the next round, don’t look past some of the upper tier players available in Rounds 1 and 2.

First Tier

Albert Pujols – Cardinals.

Pujols is in a league of his own, except with him you don’t have to worry about Rosie O’Donnell. Zing!

In my humble opinion, Pujols and H-Ram are your only two viable options for the #1 pick. In my mock drafts, I have alternated taking St. Albert and Hanley at the #1 spot, but in the end, my teams appear stronger with Pujols.

Second Tier

Prince Fielder, Mark Teixeria, Ryan Howard, Miguel Cabrera

These guys are going later the first and early in the second, depending on the number of teams. I was big on Fielder (no pun intended) last season, and he rebounded nicely last year with .299/46/141. I am not sure about 141 RBIs again, but he should help you with R, HR and RBIs.

Last season, Teixeira started slow (.200/3/10) and continued to have a difficult last name to spell. However, he finished strong (.292/39/122), and most importantly, did not let the NY media mess with his head. I do not anticipate a decline.

I was worried about Ryan Howard last season, especially with the absence of Pat Burrell, but he put up his usual numbers (.279/45/141). He still strikes out way too much (186 Ks), but it should not be an issue as long as your league does not penalize Ks.

Miguel Cabrera finished the year with a bang and then spent the off-season drying out in rehab. It is hard to believe that Cabrera is only 27 years old. Don’t be scared off by the way his season ended. If you have a late first round pick, he is a great pick up.

The rest of my Top Ten

Justin Morneau, Adrian Gonzalez, Kevin Youkilis, Adam Dunn, Joey Votto

Dunn is a poor man’s Ryan Howard. A mere two HRs ended Dunn’s streak of 40 or more HRs lasting from 2004. Votto’s post-All Star line was .300/11/42 with a .399 OBP. Expect a big year from him.

But what about …

Kendry Morales - LA Angels - Votto just edged out Morales for my 10^th spot. He still has the risk of taking sophomore slump, but his strong 2^nd half (.330/19/59) indicates a solid 2010.

Mark Reynolds – D’backs – Reynolds had an incredible season .260/44/102 with 24 SBs while breaking his own dubious MLB record with 223 Ks. Reynolds makes Rob Deer look like Tony Gwynn, except that Deer did not rock a Jheri curl until 1998. With the risk of a decline, I would choose a solid vet at 1B and consider Reynolds at 3B, where talent is thin this year.

Victor Martinez and Pablo Sandoval – While Martinez should have a great year, he is better utilized at catcher. Accordingly, I don’t like Sandoval as much as a 1B as I do at 3B. Also, don’t draft Sandoval with the hope that we will return to catcher, as the Giant’s signing of Bengie Molina put an end to that possibility.

Back again for 2010

2010-02-10T20:45:00.003-05:00

I like that title. I sound like a rapper from 1986.

Where was I? Yes, Donny and I took 2009 off, but we had good reasons.

New jobs. A baby. Books about Jane Austen and zombies. However, this year we are back.

As of this date, we have participated in over 213 mock drafts. Yes, I know what you are thinking. However, all of our wasted time is here for your benefit.

Thanks for visiting, and we hope that we can help you have a great pretend baseball season.

Play fake ball!

Random Lists: Movies, Pitchers and Band Names

2008-08-27T20:58:00.029-04:00

I am cheap. I milk free trial subscriptions whenever possible. I gorge myself on the free samples at Costco. I steal hotel shampoo.

As you might imagine, I do not subscribe to HBO. I did, however, receive a phone call from Verizon offering me a free month of HBO and Cinemax, and as long as I cancel before the month is up, I don't pay a dime! But, wait, there's more!!! Actually, there's not more. Of course, I took them up on the deal, and it has been totally worth it thanks to "Hard Knocks". I can't get enough of sports documentaries. My favorite scene so far (I'm only halfway through the first episode) is when the Dallas players arrive for training camp and Adam (Pacman) Jones and Terrell Owens are talking (yelling to each other) about their respective weights. Adam asks Terrell what his current weight is, "Two-what?" (as in two-fifty). Owens' response, "Two-sexy".

On that note, I present to you three lists of ten:

Ten best sports Movies (some of the movie clips are nsfw):

I wanted to include TV shows, as it was "Hard Knocks" that got me on this topic in the first place, but I couldn't really think of any that I am familiar enough with to rank. Also, I'm only including movies that I've seen.

10.) "The Sandlot" - Do you love baseball? Were you ever a kid? If so, this movie will make you feel happy all over.

9.) "The Bad News Bears" - Most sports movies resort to sappiness, but "The Bad News Bears" was filled with kids who you knew from the neighborhood and was coached by your friend's divorcee dad.

8.) "Hoop Dreams" - Best. Documentary. Evar.

7.) "Raging Bull" - De Niro's performance as boxer Jake LaMotta is legendary.

6.) "The Wizard" - How can you not be a fan of a Fred Savage vehicle about a kid who, "...Scores 50,000 points on Double Dragon!!!!1" The product placement was shameless (Power Glove, anyone?). Bonus awesomeness: the movie features Jenny Lewis, of Rilo Kiley. Wait, you're saying video gaming isn't a sport?

5.) "Caddyshack" - The most quoted sports movie ever?

4.) "Happy Gilmore" - Yes, I have "Happy Gilmore" ranked above "Caddyshack". It's my list, so back off.

3.) "Hoosiers" - I want Gene Hackman to be my coach. In life.

2.) "The Big Lebowski" - You didn't think I was going to leave this one off the list did you?

1.) "The Natural" - The holy grail of sports movies for me. I could watch this movie on a loop for a week and still get goosebumps for the scene below.

Ten pitchers to target for next year's draft:

I'm not including Santana, Sabathia, Peavy, Halladay or Webb, because they are too obvious. Also, they will probably get taken too early. There are far too many pitchers available later in the draft to take these guys in the first two rounds. The following list is of pitchers you should be able to get later in the draft - at least after the 5th round in a 12-team league.

10.) Johnny Cueto - I think he'll be better than Volquez next year, as he has comparable stuff and better control.

9.) Clayton Kershaw - Lefty stud of the future in the NL Weak should have a strong 2009.

8.) Max Scherzer - The D-backs rotation is going to be sick next year, and Scherzer should be a big part of it. Again, let someone else take Webb or Haren in the 3rd round and grab Scherzer much later.

7.) Joba Chamberlain - Don't forget about Joba. He still strikes people out and plays for the Yankees.

6.) Brandon Morrow - Seattle's version of Joba throws 100 mph when he needs to and his slider and changeup are improving.

5.) Matt Garza - Garza is still maturing, but he's got a great offense behind him, and I think next year will be a step forward.

4.) Chad Billingsley - Strikeout machine in a pitcher's park? Yes, please.

3.) Rich Harden - He'll be available longer than he should because of the injury risk.

2.) Brett Myers - I really believe that he can still be a dominate pitcher. If he doesn't have too great a finish to the year, he'll be a great bargain.

1.) Tim Lincecum - Tiny Tim is all kinds of filthy, and I'd much rather have him in the 5th round than Peavy or Santana in the 2nd round. Actually, I might rather have him over those guys period.

Ten worst band names of all time:

10.) The Dave Matthews Band - Imagine how much more popular they would've been had they named their band "Suede Foreskin" or "Plaid Rattail".

9.) Live - "Live in concert, Live!!!" Really, it's not cute.

8.) Coldplay - You know how I know you're gay? You named your kid Apple. Also, you named your band Coldplay.

7.) Limp Bizkit - I picture a turd. You?

6.) Blink 182 - I'm all for having a mysterious band name, but after awhile it gets really tedious listening to all of the hilarious fake stories about its origins.

5.) Widespread Panic - Actually your music puts me to sleep. I'm panicking from boredom. I don't care how many college kids think you are cool. You suck.

4.) Panic! At the Disco - The exclamation point seems misplaced. (Clearly, I don't like band names with the word "Panic" in them.)

3.) Barenaked Ladies - Talk about disappointment. :(

2.) Hoobastank - Such a repulsive band name could only finish second to...

1.) Audioslave - If I was in 4th grade and had a band, I would name it Audioslave. Then I'd write Audioslave all over my Trapper Keeper in big, block letters.

Wordle

2008-08-26T10:32:00.006-04:00

I stumbled upon this website called Wordle.

You put in your blog URL (or a bunch of words) and it spits out a "beautiful word cloud". Curiosity got the best of me, so I plugged in our blog and got this.



I didn't know we used the word "still" that often.

Still, I love that one of the biggest words is "Ibanez".

Achievers/Bums - 8/19 - 8/21/08

2008-08-21T22:09:00.012-04:00

ACHIEVERS
Grady Sizemore - OF - Cleveland Indians - 4/5, HR, 3b, 7 RBI, SB (Thursday) - Sizemore's power has slowed just a bit in the second half, but he's still got a shot at 40/40, and I think he'll get it. Sizemore is getting better every year, and is an obvious keeper in all formats. Also, he's sexy.

Rich Harden - SP - Chicago Cubs - (Tuesday) Win, 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 0 BB, 10 K - I'm always looking for a reason to talk about Rich Harden, and on Tuesday he definitely gave an Achiever-worthy performance, so I get my chance. Since the Cubs acquired Harden in July, he has gone 3-1 with an ERA of 1.50, a WHIP of .95 and a redonkulous 59 K's in 42 IP. In short, he's made Sandy Koufax look like Jose Lima. If you held on to him through the injuries, you are now being rewarded. Piniella and the Cubs are handling him just right by giving him extra days of rest and keeping his pitch-count down.

Raul Ibanez - OF - Seattle Mariners - 7 HR, 27 RBI in the last month - I gave Ibanez love in my first edition of "This Ain't 'Nam" back on July 10th, and you didn't listen. Brandt has been giving Ibanez crazy props for weeks, but you still haven't picked him up. Now it's too late. You're still starting Jay Bruce, and Ibanez is still raking. More Ibanez updates will be forthcoming as he continues to mash. Stay tuned.

A.J. Burnett - SP - Toronto Blue Jays - (Tuesday) Win, 8.0 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 13 K - This is what Burnett can do when healthy. I thought he'd have a good second half, and so far, so good. His stats after the all-star break are: 6-1, 3.22 ERA, 52 K in 42 IP.

BUMS

Ryan Howard - 1B - Philadelphia Phillies - Howard is going to shatter his record of 199 strikeouts in a season this year, as he's on pace for 213. He's also 3 for his last 35 with a whiff-tastic 18 strikeouts in that span. But at least he hits homers, right? Not lately. He's only got 5 since the break. If your league penalizes for K's, then bench him immediately. If not, you can probably keep him in there and hope for a power surge. Look and see if Delgado is still available, as it appears he may be getting ready to go on a hot streak.

Jimmy Rollins - SS - Philadelphia Phillies - So here's what not to do in Philly: (a) Call out the fans, (b) then go 3 for 33 immediately after that. J-Roll is losing fans almost as quickly as he's losing his fantasy value. The fact that he was basically correct in his statements about Philly fans being front-runners is completely irrelevant.

Jake Peavy - SP - San Diego Padres - Loss, 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 5 H, 4 BB, 2 K (Wednesday) - Peavy has showed this year why I don't like taking pitchers in the first few rounds of the draft. Peavy was a second-round pick in most leagues this year (Yahoo! ADP 18.2), but he has not lived up to his past greatness. The most concerning thing to me about Peavy is that his strikeouts are down from the last few years. His K/9 is below 9 for the first time since 2003. Not that at a K/9 of 8.7 is bad by any stretch, but with Peavy, you knew wins were going to be hard to come by with the offense he has behind him, so you are counting on the K's. The fact that he barely ranks in the top 25 in that category is a disappointment for those that drafted him so early this year.

Random Thoughts

2008-08-19T21:50:00.020-04:00

I am bored.

The trade deadline has passed in all of my leagues. My money league, which normally has one keeper related blockbuster, fizzled. (The second to last trade of the year - Mike Aviles for Jason Isringhausen). Football is still a few weeks away, and the Olympics are wrapping up.

Accordingly, I think that the baseball season is too long. The regular season should end with August, turning the dog days of summer into end of the pennant race. Think about the MLB playoffs coinciding with the beginning of college football and the NFL. Just sayin'.

In a previous column, I extolled the virtues of Netflix's "Watch Instantly" function. I recently became aware of Hulu.com. Hulu falls somewhere in between YouTube and Netflix. Like YouTube, it is free. Unlike YouTube, the videos are not copied from an old VHS tape. Unlike "Netflix," Hulu is free with some conditions. Your "price" for admission are several advertisements embedded in the vidoes, but nothing too distracting. Hulu carries an odd variety of movies and TV shows/clips. You can watch entire episodes NBC/Universal shows like "30 Rock" (also on Netflix) and "Psych," plus old classics like "Knight Rider" and the "A-Team." (Also, they have a bunch of "WKRP in Cincinatti" episodes, including the Best. One. Ever.) Don't be fooled by the appearance of "The Simpsons," as most of files are just brief clips. For movies, there is random selection of films in their entirety- ranging from "Enter the Ninja" and "Lone Wolf McQuade" to "Fiddler on the Roof" and "Xanadu." I have a sample of one of Hulu's better films listed below. It will be interested to see if Hulu is the end result of competition from YouTube, or if it is the begginning of another Internet shift in technology.

Raul Ibanez. Sorry, I am obligated to mention him at least once a column.

I am impressed with Kevin Youkilis' strong second half. I had him pegged as a second half bum (on that note, my apologies to Ryan Ludwick - you rock). In past seasons, Youkilis has faded as the season has continued. Entering tonight's games, Youkilis post-All Star line was .327/8/21 with a 1.036 OPS. Youkilis will start the 2009 season as a 30-year old, and it might be hard for him to duplicate his numbers from this season. However, his dual 1B/3B eligibility will offset any slight decrease in numbers.

I don't like to mention anything remotely political on this site, but this article at The Onion just cracks me up.

I was going through my pre-season notes, and I came across the name of Travis Hafner. How far the might have fallen. I had almost forgotten about his existence.

It's a shame about Ian Kinsler's injury. I expected for Kinsler to have a pretty good season, but nothing of this magnitude (.319/17/81 with 26 SB and 102 R in just 121 games). In my points league, Kinsler is the still #1 batter with more total points than Lance Berkman. Kinsler has been diagnosed with the dreaded sports hernia (whatever you do, don't look up "sports hernia" on Google. Moderate Safe Search, my big toe.) I had never heard of this injury until Donovan McNabb got a few years ago, and it seems that everyone gets it now.

Sometimes, a good headline says it all. Case in point - Mexican woman fights off lion with machete.

Achievers/Bums - 8/18/08

2008-08-18T21:47:00.007-04:00

I've got to make this quick because the season premiere of "The Hills" is starting (if you click on the link, the ads will tell you all you need to know about the show). "The Hills" is one of those shows that I don't watch, but my wife watches. Which basically means that I complain about the show, but secretly watch it when she's not home. Tonight "my wife" is watching a double-feature of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" and "The Hills". I've already learned so many things tonight: the sextuplets like the beach, Audrina's family keeps her grounded, Miss Lippy's car... is green ("Billy Madison" has been playing continuously in my head since 1994 - I'm aware that the movie didn't come out until 1995, which makes it even weirder). I thought I would share all of this with you. Why? What's the significance? I don't know.

Light schedule, but there were some Achievers and, of course, worthless, pathetic Bums tonight.

ACHIEVERS

Gary Sheffield - OF - Detroit Tigers - 3/5, HR, 2 RBI, 2 R - Sheff is still very, very angry. Keep him in your lineup.

Jermaine Dye - OF - Chicago White Sox - 2/5, 2 2B, 2 RBI, 2 R - I still haven't forgiven myself for not picking Dye a couple of months ago. He was available and I needed to fill an outfield spot, but I picked Hawpe instead. Hawpe had a bad game and was dropped the next day. Dye hit two home runs and hasn't looked back since then. He just keeps producing.

Aubrey Huff - 2/4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI - In my points league, Huff ranks between Carlos Lee and Hanley Ramirez. I was not aware of that until just now. Huh. I still won't draft him next year. But hey, if you picked him up early in the year, you deserve a big cookie.

Jason Bay - OF - Boston Red Sox - 3/5, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 3 R, 1 SB - Just Jason being Jason.

The Dodgers - Great move to pick up Greg Maddux. He's not a great pitcher anymore, but he basically gives the Dodgers another pitching coach and he will be a great example for the rest of the pitching staff.

BUMS

Randy Wolf - SP - Houston Astros - Loss, 5.0 IP, 6 ER, 5 H, 3 BB, 1 HBP, 4 K - Ed Wade traded for Wolf because he was "a competitor". Perhaps he was referring to Wolf's Connect Four skillz, because the pitching has not been competitive. At all. Hey, at least the Astros have their, "foot in the door" for signing Wolf next year.

Spencer - D-bag - "The Hills" - If you've seen his act for at least ten seconds, you will concur. In a way, his D-baggery is so breathtaking that you almost have to admire it. But at the end of the day, if you saw him in person, you'd want to punch him in the throat.

Achievers/Bums - 8/17/08

2008-08-17T20:06:00.022-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts. Donny and I have actually been busy with real life for once. Anyway, this isn't the Lifetime Network - let's talk baseball

Achievers
Melvin Mora - 3B - Baltimore Orioles - 3/4, 1 HR, 4 RBIS - Friday; 5/6, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs - Sunday. Baltimore hasn't seen anything this hot since Babs Johnson walked down the street. With 20 HRs and 91 RBIS, Mora has a chance to match his 2004 career highs (27 HRs, 104 RBIs). Mora is probably not available in your league, but if he is, stick him in your Utility or CI spot until he cools off.

Alex Rios - OF - Toronto Blue Jays - 5/6, 3 Rs, 2 RBIs - Yes, he had five hits. Rios also has only 9 HRs and 54 RBIs. Not exactly the figures for which managers were hoping when they drafted him.

Raul Ibanez - OF - Seattle Mariners - 5/5, 1 RBI - I can't leave out the other guy with 5 hits. Looking over my posts, I am sure that Fantasy Achievers mentions Raul Ibanez more than any other website. Tell your friends.

Andre Ethier - OF - Los Angeles Dodgers - 3/5, 2 HRS, 3 RBIs - Ethier smacked two HRs, including the GW HR in the bottom of the 9th. Ethier is deservedly getting more ABs than Juan Pierre, but Ethier is sitting down enough to make you think twice about leaving him in your line-up. Stay away from Ethier if you have to set your roster weekly, but maybe consider pairing him with Juan Pierre if you have the roster space (and time to sit by your computer 10 minutes before every game, fatty).

Johan Santana - W, 7Ks, CG SHO - Santana goes to 3-0 since the All Star break. You expected more than 11 wins and 148 Ks, but at least Santana is turning it on for the stretch. Santana is still solid, and you might be able to pick him up at a discount next season.

Bums

Josh Beckett - SP - Boston Red Sox - L, 2.1 IP, 8 ERs - The Red Sox have been dealing with injuries to their starting pitching, and it was time for Beckett to stand up and be the stopper for his team. No, not really. Beckett was smacked at home by a Blue Jays' team that is only ahead of the Mariners, Royals and A's in AL runs scored. After going 20-7 with a 3.92 ERA last season, Beckett falls to a paltry 11-9 with a 4.34 ERA. If the Red Sox are going to catch the Blank Rays, they better hope that Beckett was just having an off day.

Washington Nationals - No one cares about the Washington Nationals. Frankly, I don't think that I even do. However, Nationals GM Jim Bowden's desire to acquire as many middle IFs as possible drives me crazy. The Nats traded Luis Ayala to the Mets for SS Anderson Hernandez. Hernandez, who has the name of a Mexican accountant, owns a career MLB batting average of .138, which somehow makes his 2008 AAA batting average of .202 look respectable. While Ayala has frankly stunk this season (1-8, 5.77 ERA), his career numbers entering this season (26-24 with a 2.82 ERA) are pretty decent, on top of the fact that the Mets are a division rival. I don't expect the Mets to give up their top prospect (even though the Mets are the team that traded Scott Kazmir for Victor "I'm Not Carlos" Zambrano), but do the Nationals need another weak hitting 2B/SS? Are the Nats one switch-hitting Dominican away from enacting Bowden's master plan?

Hernandez is now battling other renown sluggers such as of Cristian Guzman, Pete Orr, Ronnie Belliard, Emilo Bonifacio (hitting .239 and 2 SBs with 22Ks in 16 games since being acquired for closer Jon Rauch) for the positions of SS and 2B. Perhaps it is not fair to call Ronnie Belliard a middle IF, as he (and his career .753 OPS) has played 20 games at 1B, splitting time with other sluggers Kory Casto (.495 OPS) and Aaron "Bleeping" Boone (125 HRs in 1,111 games).

Achievers/Bums - 8/12/08

2008-08-12T22:02:00.007-04:00

Man, it's weird to see Adam Dunn on a winning team. So, we take a couple of days off, and all hades breaks loose. Carlos Lee and Carl Crawford out for the year? Evan Longoria out three to four weeks? Hey, at least no one was counting on production from those guys in the second half. The Big Donkey to the Diamondbacks? (He'll still hit his 40). USA Swimming is sweeping the nation? Aaron Harang gets rocked in his return to action? OK, I should've seen the last one coming become Aaron Harang hates me and wants to ruin my life.

ACHIEVERS

Michael Phelps/USA Swimming - 4 Gold Medals and counting - I never thought I'd give a crap about swimming and I had Michael Phelps fatigue before the Olympics started, but now I'm eating it up. That bitch-slap our boys put on the French was one of the coolest things I've seen in sports ever. Oh, and in case you missed it - Michael Phelps gets his food on in an epic way.

David Ortiz/Kevin Youkilis - Boston Red Sox - combined 5/9, 4 HR, 11 RBI, 6 R, 3 BB - In a game versus the Rangers that was packed with offensive goodness, these guys were the biggest studs. Honorable mention to Dustin Pedroia, Ian Kinsler and Marlon Byrd.

Gary Sheffield - OF/DH - Detroit Tigers - 2/4, 2 HR - Gary Sheffield hits better when he's angry, which is pretty much always. The Tigers placed him on waivers Tuesday, which will probably make him even angrier, so expect lots of violently struck baseballs off the bat of angry Sheff.

Javier Vazquez - SP - Chicago White Sox - Win, 8.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 10 K - Vazquez has been rocky so far in the second half, but I still think he can be a hidden gem if you need another SP to help you in the stretch run. He doesn't always get to face the Royals, unfortunately, but he'll rack up strikeouts and get you some wins because he's on a good team.

Nick Markakis - OF - Baltimore Orioles - 2/3, 2B, 2 RBI, SF - Ladies and gentleman, I give you: the new Bobby Abreu. Granted, he's not Bobby Abreu in his prime, but he's the current Bobby Abreu, which is still pretty darn good. He's had a great season so far and he should be a top-15 outfielder next year.

BUMS

Joel Zumaya - RP - Loss, BS, 2 ER, 2 H, 3 BB - Detroit Tigers - Seriously, I miss Todd Jones.

Achievers/Bums - 08/8/08

2008-08-09T09:59:00.004-04:00

ACHIEVERS

CC Sabathia - SP - Milwaukee Brewers - CG Shutout, 5 H, BB, 9 K's - In seven starts with the Brew Crew, Sabathia has four complete games and two shutouts. While this is very impressive, Ned Yost may want to consider saving CC's arm for the stretch run. But if you're in a league that gives bonuses for complete games or shutouts, you gotta hope Ned continues to go Dusty for the rest of the season.

Carlos Lee - OF - Houston Astros - 4/5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI, 3 R, BB - After Carlos Lee hit a two-run double in the 10th off of Francisco Cordero to beat the Reds last night, manager Cecil Cooper called him the best player in baseball over the last couple of months. Carlos Quentin owners might disagree, but Carlos Lee has been a top five outfielder all year and he's definitely still a keeper.

Chipper Jones - 3B - 2/4, HR, 2 RBI, 3 R, BB - Chipper is back and doing what he does, i.e., mashing. He hit a loooong HR last night. If your trading deadline hasn't passed, see if you can snag him from an owner who thinks he's selling high.

BUMS

Adam Dunn - OF - Cincinnati Reds - 0/4, 3 K's - Adam Dunn has been awesome this year. The average is up a little bit and the home runs are there, but he has gone cold, and it looks like a strikeout binge has begun. If you're in a league that penalizes for K's, I'd keep him on your bench until another home run tear begins. Otherwise, you gotta keep him in there.

Dan Uggla - 2B - Florida Marlins - Remember when you picked Uggla off of the free-agent pile for a spot start since your everyday second baseman had the day off, and then hit a couple home runs, so you left him there? Then, he just kept hitting them...and hitting them? It's time to forget about that and drop him. 2nd half numbers are as follows: .162 BA, 3 HR, 8 RBI, 23 K, 8 BB.

Alex Rios - OF - Toronto Blue Jays - 0/5, 3 K's - I challenge someone to give me a good reason for anyone to own Alex Rios at this point. At least he wasn't drafted above Josh Hamilton, Bobby Abreu and Nick Markakis in most leagues this year. (See, it's funny because he was!!!)

This Ain't 'Nam #5

2008-08-08T14:00:00.005-04:00

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

So I'm a day late with the weekly rule set because yesterday I was so swept up in the Jet Favre mania that I couldn't even concentrate on baseball. Or I just forgot. I'm sure that you, our faithful reader, will forgive me for the delay.

Rule #1 - Never take a job that restricts access to fantasy baseball websites. Or blogs.

Rule #2 - It is okay to kick your dog whenever Keith Olbermann speaks. You're in pain, so why shouldn't your dog be in pain also.

Rule #3 - Stocking your pitching staff with high injury-risk/high reward guys (Harden, Sheets, Kazmir, Bedard, Burnett) can burn you. Don't be afraid to mix in a little Derek Lowe or Mike Mussina.

Rule #4 - Don't be so quick to judge Alanis Morrisette. Have you ever considered that she was actually being ironic by writing a song called "Ironic" which listed situations that were in no way ironic, such as requiring a solitary knife but being presented with several thousand spoons? Ah haaaaah...hmmmm.... ? Did I just blow your mind? No? OK, then.

Rule #5 - No matter how much you swear that you won't let it happen, when you have a kid, he/she will undoubtedly love this guy. You laugh derisively now, but just wait and see who gets the last laugh. (Hint: he'll be purple).

Achievers/Bums - 8/7/08

2008-08-07T19:50:00.029-04:00

Achievers
Joel Hanrahan - RP - Washington Nationals -2.0 IP, 2 SVs, 1 K - Hanrahan still might be available in your league, but not for long. I picked up him last night in my HTH league. His appearances won't be a pretty, but a save is a save is a save.

Jonathan Broxton - RP - Los Angeles Dodgers - 1.0 IP, SV, 2 Ks - Broxton has not shown the jitters that he showed last season as closer. With his strikeout potential, he will be a top-five closer next year.

Lastings Milledge - OF - Washington Nationals - 5/9, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs - Milledge had a pretty good doubleheader today against the Rockies, but he won't help you much this season. Click HERE for a good insight into Milledge and the life of a batting coach in MLB.

David Wright - 3B - New York Mets - 3/5, 2B, HR, 2 RBIs - Inspired by Donny's harsh comments, Wright hit a game-winning (I do not believe in the term "walk off") HR in the bottom of the 9th against the Padres. Hopefully for the Mets, he can also pitch in relief.

Raul Ibanez - OF - Seattle Mariners - 1/4, HR - Ibanez's bottom of the 9th home run was Seattle's first GW (see above) of this season. Ibanez is hitting .367/7/24 since the All-Star break. Ibanez is a free agent at year's end. Why is he not playing for the....

Bums

Arizona Diamondbacks offense- The D'backs were shut out for seven innings last night by Charlie Morton. The day before, Randy Johnson's 7/1 IP, 2-run effort was wasted when Jeff Karsten shut them out. While the Dodgers made the bold move of acquiring Manny Ramirez (who has four HRs in six games), the D'backs made no moves for their milquetoast offense, not even acquiring a cheap rental like Ibanez. The D'backs are relying solely on their starting pitching and upgraded bullpen to get them through the stretch run. While their pitching moves have been very wise (the Mets and Cardinals have to be kicking themselves for not grabbing Jon Rauch or Brian Fuentes), but it will interesting to see in retrospect if the D'backs should have grabbed another bat.

Willy Taveras - OF - Colorado Rockies - 1/8, no SBs. You would hope for more from Taveras in a doubleheader at home. If you can tolerate the awful batting average, Taveras is still a great source for SBs, especially if he is one of his hot streaks.

Javier Vazquez - SP - Chicago White Sox - In the first two months of the season, Vazquez started with his usual strong numbers - 5 wins and a 3.43 ERA with 77Ks in 78.2 IP. Since June 1, Vazquez has fallen apart, winning only 3 games with an ERA of 6.23. While the Ks are still there (64 Ks 69.2 IP since 6/1), Vazquez will kill you on ERA and WHIP. I would recommend sitting him or selectively pitching him until he puts together a few good starts.

Brett Favre - QB - New York Jets - While this is still a good move for the Jets, who desperately needed a brand name on their team and somehow upgraded at QB, this trade is fitting justice for Favre. After doing his best to ruin the Green Bay Packers (HERE is a great summary), Favre is sent to AFC purgatory with the New York Jets, where he will inherit a rebuilding team and an unfamiliar offense.

I would expect some glimpses of 2007 Favre (28 TDs, 15 INTs), but probably more of 2005 or 2006 Favre (20 TDs, 29 INTs - 18 TDs, 18 INT respectively). In the off-season prior to 2007, Favre had a rigorous work regime to offset the diminished returns of the past two seasons. Favre spent the 2008 off season "retired" and not committed to playing football. At age 38, it will difficult for Favre to be much of a positive factor if he is not in game shape.

Favre's tenure in New York will be unmemorable. Other great players have finished their careers with "other" teams (Montana with the Chiefs, Jordan with the Bullets/Wizards), but memories of their performances were mere footnotes and quickly forgettable (I forgot Joe Montana even played with the Chiefs until it was mentioned during the Favre saga). However, none of these detours came with the rancor of Favre's break-up with the Packers. Hopefully, Favre and the Packers will be able to put this behind them in a few years, and Favre will be remembered for what did for the Packers and not to them.

Achievers/Bums - 8/06/08

2008-08-06T16:05:00.010-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Vladimir Guerrero - OF - Los Angeles Angels - 2/3, HR, 4 RBI, BB - Vlad has been doing extra impaling since the "Tex Factor" arrived in Anaheim. He started slow this year and his power numbers are down a tad, but I think he'll end up with numbers close to his career averages, which we all know are awesome.

Troy Percival - RP - Tampa Bay Rays - Win, .2 IP - I usually don't include closers in the "Achievers" section, but I think Percival deserves a nod for the job he has done for the Rays this year. He's saved 24 out of 27 so far, and although he spent a couple weeks on the DL, you can't deny the value he's provided for where he was drafted (Yahoo ADP was 183.5).

Shaun Marcum - SP - Toronto Blue Jays - Win, 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 7 K's - After giving up 16 earned runs in his last three starts, Shaun Marcum found his control and pitched a gem against the A's. Marcum is not a sell-high candidate as he has the potential to be an excellent starter long-term. The buzz around Marcum has died down a little bit, so it might be the perfect time to try to snag him. (Of course if the jackass in your league who owns him just went on a cruise and has no internet access until after the trade deadline, your out of luck).

BUMS

David Wright - 3B - New York Mets - 2/5, RBI, SB, E - The Mets have lost seven of their last ten, and there is a lot of blame to go around: Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes, Pedro Martinez, the bullpen - all very, very bad lately. But I mainly blame David Wright, who despite having a couple of hits and a SB last night, has been brutal lately. Over the last week he's hitting .150 with 2 RBI, 2 R and 1 SB. That's what I get for giving him ridiculous props a couple of weeks ago.

Scott Kazmir - SP - Tampa Bay Rays - ND, 4.1 IP, 5 ER, 9 H, 3 BB, 4 K's - Scott Kazmir is a tease. He can look like Johan Santana (the Twins version) one start and Barry Zito (the Giants version) in the next. He led the AL in strikeouts last year, and early on, it looked like the numbers would be even better in 2008. But in his last ten starts he has only gone six innings twice. He's going through a rough patch, but I wouldn't sell. His strikeouts make him so valuable and I think he'll get it together; you just have to be willing to stomach the ups and downs and realize he is going to mix in the dominating performances with what he did last night.

Derek Lowe - SP - Los Angeles Dodgers - Loss, 3.1 IP, 8 ER, 13 H, 2 BB, 2 K's - Holy crap, I almost started him.

Achievers/Bums - 8/5/08

2008-08-05T21:49:00.009-04:00

Fernando Tatis - OF - New York Mets - 2/4, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs - The Mets and their gimpy bullpen needed all of Tatis' offense to hold off the powerhouse Padres. The Mets LF job is his to lose. Grab him in NL Only and think about him for your Utility/DH spot in deeper mixed leagues.

Dave Bush - SP - Milwaukee Brewers - W, 7.0 IP, 7 Ks - Bush was officially named the fifth starter, and he scored an impressive victory on the road against the Reds. While the Brewers will no longer pitch Bush exclusively at home, you should. Use him as a streamer when he is pitching at home.

Prince Fielder - 1B - Milwaukee Brewers - 1/4, 1 HR, 2 RBIs - Prince pounded the ball like it was one of his teammates (I am sure that I am the only guy to think of that line). Seriously, how does a vegetarian stay so fat? Are they making soy Snickers bars now? Hi-oh.

Bums
Aaron Heilman - RP - 0.1 IP, 3 ER - In his first shot at closer replacing Billy Wagner, Aaron Heilman did his best Duaner Sanchez imitiation, turning a four-run lead against the Padres into a one-run game. With Wagner now on the DL, the Mets better hope that Brian Fuentes can make it through the waiver wire.

Joba Chamberlain Meets The Most Feared Man in Baseball

2008-08-05T18:56:00.005-04:00

There are certain sentences that you never want to hear under any circumstances.

"The IRS is on the phone for you."
"Michael Vick took your dog for a walk."
"Is that your wife with Bill Clinton?"

High on that list for any fantasy dork is "(Insert Pitcher on Your Team) is going to visit Dr. James Andrews."

The latest pitcher to walk the green mile to the orthopedic legend's office is Joba Chamberlain. Chamberlain left his start against Texas on Monday clutching his shoulder. Even if there is not a serious injury at this time, you can bet the Yanks will be uber-cautious with their 22-year old phenom. If you are a Joba owner, prepare to wait a while for Joba to return.

Achievers/Bums - 8/04/08

2008-08-04T22:48:00.015-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Jay Bruce - OF - Cincinnati Reds - 1/2, HR, 2 RBI - Jay Bruce isn't as good as he looked in his first week after being called up, but he's not as bad as he's looked since then either. With Griffey gone, Bruce doesn't have to masquerade as a lead-off hitter anymore and he can hit in the three-hole as he should. He hit seventh last night against lefty Manny Parra, but I imagine he'll be back hitting third for most of the rest of the season. In the four games since Griffey's departure, Bruce is hitting .357 with three HR's and five RBI.

Roy Halladay - SP - Toronto Blue Jays - Win, 8.0 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 8 K's - Last year Roy Halladay racked up 139 strikeouts, which trailed such fire-ballers as Joe Blanton, Andy Pettitte and Chad Gaudin; in 2006 he struck only only 132, which didn't even rank him in the top-50 in the majors. So it has been fairly surprising that with another six or seven starts still to go his 149 strikeouts trail only his teammate A.J. Burnett in the AL. If Halladay keeps this up, it will be hard for him not to win another Cy Young - even pitching in Toronto.

Michael Young - SS - Texas Rangers - 2/4, HR, 3 RBI, 2 R - I've never been a huge Michael Young fan, but this year he's been the best fantasy SS not named Jose or Hanley. I still don't think he's that great, but as long as he's hitting somewhere between Kinsler and Hamilton, he'll put up solid numbers

Robinson Cano - 2B - New York Yankees - 1/4, HR - A lot of Yankees are hot right now, but look at what Cano is doing in the 2nd half so far: .367 BA, 4 HR, 9 RBI. You might still be able to trade for him if your deadline hasn't passed, and you should if you can because he's just heating up.

Raul Ibanez - OF - Seattle Mariners - 3/5, 1 HR, 6 RBI - Why is this guy still on the Mariners? Are you telling me that there weren't any contenders who could've used his bat?

BUMS

Lance Berkman - 1B/OF - Houston Astros - 0/4, 2 K's - No HR's and only seven RBI's in the last month is very un-Puma-like. I think it's the same as when Utley slumps though, you just keep him in the lineup and realize that the numbers will come. No reason to panic.

Prince Fielder - 1B - Milwaukee Brewers - 1/3, BB - Prince Fielder had his very own OMG moment last night when he was caught on camera shoving starting pitcher Manny Parra like a little girl (video below). Ned Yost said it's nobody's business. It's a family matter and will quickly be resolved. Uhh, yeah, because Prince Fielder would neeeeever hold a grudge against a family member.

Achievers/Bums - Weekend Edition

2008-08-03T17:09:00.034-04:00

Achievers
Bobby Abreu - OF - New York Yankees - Yes, I am aware of Xavier Nady's big day. However, the big story for me has been the reemergence of Bobby Abreu since the All Star break. Since the second half began, Abreu has a line of .387/5/17 with two SBs. He can help you with average, runs and stolen bases. If you need help in any of these categories, try to pick up Abreu before your trading deadline.

Hiroki Kuroda - SP - Los Angeles Dodgers - For all I know, Hiroki Kuroda could be an awful person. He could litter, steal candy from children or wear tights. However, I do know one thing about Kuroda - he pitches pretty well at Dodger Stadium. After his victory on Saturday, Kuroda's record at home stands at 4-1 with a 3.29 ERA and a 1.01 WHIP. If you have space on your roster, he might be worth holding onto, but remember that he is Mr. Hyde on the road (2-7, 5.25 ERA).

Matt Holliday - OF - Colorado Rockies - Holliday hit three home runs over Saturday and Sunday against the Marlins. While Holliday hitting home runs is no big news, it is notable that he did so on the road. Holliday is a great beneficiary of playing in Colorado (.365/81/294 in Colorado - .280/42/166 everywhere else). As he is a pending free agent after the 2009 season, there is a chance that Holliday will be shopped in the offseason. If you are in a keeper format and out of contention for winning your league , this might be the time to think about moving Holliday. You can trade Holliday his highest value and not worry about him moving away from Colorado.

Ricky Nolasco - SP - Florida Marlins - Nolasco capped an impressive week with 13 Ks against the Rockies. If you pitched Nolasco in a HTH format this week, you received a win, 21 Ks, a 3.21 ERA and a o.79 WHIP. Nolasco has recovered from his elbow problems that plagued him in 2007.

Joel Hanrahan - RP - Washington Nationals - Hanrahan got his first save as the Nats closer. While he will not be dominant, as my pal Donny points out, a save is a save is save. Hanrahan might still be available on your waiver wire, and he is a great pick-up if you currently have either ...

Bums

Kyle Farnsworth/Fernando Rodney - RP - Detroit Tigers - Newly acquired Kyle Farnsworth blew the lead in the 8th by giving up three runs on three hits. After Curtis Granderson tied the game with a HR in the top of the ninth, and Miguel Cabera hit a HR in the top of the 10th to give the Tigers the lead, Rodney added his contribution by giving up two runs with three walks, including the game winning bases loaded BB to Carlos Pena.
The Tigers bullpen is a mess, and there does not appear to be a savior in sight. I would recommend dropping Rodney immediately, but keep Farnsworth on the bench for now, if you have a roster spot.

Jeremy Hermida - OF - Florida Marlins - I like Jeremy Hermida, and I think that he will be a good player in the long run for the Marlins. However, Hermida earned the dubious golden sombrero on Sunday, going 0-4 with four Ks. If you are in a league that factors Ks, you know the glorious feeling of looking at the negative four points and wondering what Rob Deer is doing right now.

Elijah Dukes - OF - Washington Nationals - While Elijah Dukes has met a good deal of the Nationals expectations for this season (for instance, he has not threatened to kill anyone), he still finds a way to make headlines for not doing anything good. First, he was benched from the starting lineup on Saturday for showing up late at the ball park. Then, he sat out on Sunday due to an injury to his leg from hitting himself with his own bat (maybe his leg was pregnant). While his antics and injuries will be an continued distraction, Dukes is a must own in NL Only leagues, and a worthwhile risk in deeper mixed leagues. Before he missed 19 games with an injured knee in early July, Duke hit six HRs and stole seven bases over 32 games in June and July. When healthy and/or out of jail, Dukes will hit third in a very soft Nats' lineup.

Phil Mickelson - LH -WGC-Bridgestone Invitational -Of course, anyone who wins over the next few months will have an asterisk as the guy who won without playing against Tiger. Phil Mickelson won't have that problem this week after completely falling apart on the 17th hole. Of course, this criticism is coming from a guy who sharted himself when he earned his first double-boogey two weeks ago.

Achievers/Bums - 8/01/08

2008-08-01T22:14:00.011-04:00

I'm in a good mood because I'm going to go see the Reds square off against the Nats today. Yes, both of these teams suck, but as a Reds fan I have a mandatory man crush on Jay Bruce. The downside is that Josh Fogg is on the bump for the Reds. Anyway, all achievers today.

ACHIEVERS

Ubaldo Jimenez - SP - Colorado Rockies - Win, 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 10 K's - I'm not getting too excited yet, but check out his numbers since the break: 4-0, 1 CG, 1.24 ERA, 20 K's. Pick him up if he's available; he gets to pitch at Washington, L.A., San Diego and twice at San Francisco from here on out. Also, his name is Ubaldo, and that's a pretty cool name. Not as cool as this one, but cool.

Jason Bay - OF - Boston Red Sox - 1/3, 3B, 2 R, 2 BB - Bay scored the first and last runs last night in his debut with the Red Sox. I like that Francona is batting him fifth as it takes a little pressure off. Remember he is coming from Pittsburgh where there is more pressure on Cheese Chester to win the Great Pierogi Race than on Pirates hitters. I think Bay will be a good third or maybe second outfielder the rest of the way.

Ken Griffey, Jr. - OF - Chicago White Sox - 2/3, 2 RBI, BB - Although he's in a less hitter-friendly park and is apparently going to be hitting seventh, I actually think Junior's fantasy value went up with the move to Chicago. Simply put, I think he's going to try harder in Chicago. They're letting him play center, and he is going to try to make Kenny Williams look good for believing in him. Plus he's now motivated by the chance of winning a World Series (not gonna happen). His two RBI were the difference last night against the Royals; let the love-fest begin.

The Nats Youth Movement - Granted, it was against the atrocious Homer Bailey, but the new-look Nationals got off to a good start last night. All the kids got hits last night, and that new middle-infield of Alberto Gonzalez and Emilio Bonifacio looked great in the field, especially when turning an inning-ending double-play in the 7th. None of that helps you in fantasy, but there are a couple of useful players in the mix that you'll want to keep an eye on. Elijah Dukes' multiple restraining orders in real life shouldn't extend to your roster as he is developing into a real power/speed threat. Catcher Jesus Flores has quietly put together a nice season with 45 RBI, and with Estrada and Lo Duca released, he appears to be the Nats catcher of the future. He's probably only worth a roster spot in NL-only leagues, but I like his upside.

Achievers/Bums - Trade Deadline Special

2008-07-31T17:49:00.033-04:00

Achievers
Pittsburgh Pirates - Kudos to new Pirates GM Neal Huntington for turning the tide for the Pirates. At this time last year, the Pirates were the laughing stock of MLB. Former GM Dave Littlefield summed up his reign as GM by acquiring washed-up SP Matt Morris and his $9.5 million contract at a time when the Pirates's opening day payroll was $38.5 million (thank you Wikipedia). This season, Huntington has traded veteran players for good young players, capped off by involving himself in the Red Sox-Manny Ramirez soap opera and coming away with four young prospects from two different teams.
For the last few years, Jason Bay has been the centerpiece of the Pirates organization. From 2004-2007, Bay averaged 28.5 HRs and 94 RBIs . Despite Bay's production, the Pirates have failed to have a winning season since 1992. With this trade, the Bucs get a instant OF starter in LH Brandon Moss and a future closer in Craig Hansen from the Sox, and 3B Andy LaRoche (brother of Pirate 1B Adam LaRoche) and RH SP Bryan Morris (2006 1st round pick) from the Dodgers.
When added with their earlier trade of Xavier Nady/Damaso Marte to the Yankees, the Pirates have moved veterans and opened up space for big name prospects like Steve Pearce. This is a good sign for a storied franchise that has been losing for too long.

Los Angeles Dodgers - As the rumors of the Manny trade floated around like a National Exquirer scandal, I was ready to slam the Dodgers. The Dodgers have hurt themselves by burdening their team with overpriced, underperforming veterans like Andruw Jones and Juan Pierre. However, the Dodgers made a shrewd move in acquiring Manny but 1) not trading Matt Kemp or Andre Ethier 2) declining Manny's options, making him a free agent at season's end and 3) getting the Sox to pay for Manny's salary for the rest of the season. The Dodgers get the big bat as a free rental, in addition to picking up draft picks as compensation when Manny hits the free agent market. Andy LaRoche has been the "Next Big Thing" for the Dodgers for last few seasons, but he has yet to step up. LaRoche now gets the change of scenery that he needs, and the Dodgers still have Blake DeWitt for 3B next season. If I were the Dodgers, I would call the Nationals to see if Dmitri Young wants Andruw as a diet buddy.

Florida Marlins - The Marlins win by by not acquiring Manny. In the long run, they will benefit by keeping OF Jeremy Hermida and LH RP Taylor Tankersley. The Marlins are already sixth in scoring runs in the NL (ahead of the Rockies), and it did not look like that they were going to get the sweethart deal that the Dodgers received. In addition, their quiet acquisition of lefty specialist Arthur Rhodes will be helpful in matching up with the Phillies' Ryan Howard and Chase Utley and the Mets' Carlos Delgado in big games.

New York Yankees - Yes, the Yankees made a good trade by getting Ivan Rodriguez for MLB's verision of Russell Crowe. No one really cares.

Bums
Seattle Mariners - While the Mariners were smart not to put out early in the trading process (cough ... Jim Bowden ... cough) , the AL West disappointments overplayed their hand by not moving Raul Ibanez and Jarrod Washburn. The Mariners, to use medical terminology, are old and stinky. Raul Ibanez is going to leave as a free agent, and Jarrod Washburn is .... Jarrdon Washburn. Any prospect from the Yankees or Mets will be more valuable to the Mariners than these guys next April.

Boston Red Sox - The Red Sox made the best of a bad situation, but they have seen this train wreck coming for a long time. The last straw should have been Manny attacking a 64-year old man back in late June, not his phantom knee injury before the Yankees' series. Jason Bay is a very good player, but he goes from playing in the anonymity of Pittsburgh to heat of an AL East division race. In addition, the Sox had to give away a few good prospects and pay out Manny's salary to the Dodgers.

Washington Nationals - No cares about the Nationals except me, but I have to make one last gripe. In a move that I am convinced was made to spite me, the Nationals traded minor league pitcher Jhonny Nunez, who has 90 Ks in 89 IP this season, for another weak hitting IF in Alberto Gonzalez. Gonzalez will have a fight on his hands to take time from sluggers Cristian Guzman, Willie Harris, Ronnie Belliard, Felipe Lopez and the recently acquired Emilo Bonifacio to see who can be the first player to hit two HRs in the same month. At this rate, the Nationals 2009 daily lineup will consist of five second basemen, Ryan Zimmerman, and Austin Kearns ears.

This Ain't 'Nam #4

2008-07-31T13:38:00.006-04:00

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

Rule #1 - Ken Griffey Jr. will disappoint you.

Rule #2 - It's ok to have one teeny-bopper, pop song in your iPod rotation at a time. Just one. Currently mine is Sneakernight by Vanessa Hudgens - a song ostensibly about sneakers and, uh, dancing. What? It's catchy. Plus I've got a thing for tube socks.

Rule #3 - When offering a trade to another owner, do not insult his team (or intelligence) in the process. Here's an example of what not to do: "Dude, I see you're starting that piece of crap Howie Kendrick at 2b for some reason. Are you retarded? I wouldn't start Howie Kendrick on my co-ed, church softball team. I've got Cano and B. Roberts. I'll take J. Santana off your hands, as he's clearly having an off year. Let's do it!"

Rule #4 - A save is a save is a save. Unless you close for the Tigers. Then a save is a roller-coaster is a blown save.

Rule #5 - You are not as cool as Mr. Belding, but compared to Screech you're Miles Davis.

Griffey Traded to the White Sox

2008-07-31T09:31:00.011-04:00

If Ken Griffey Jr. doesn't veto the trade, it looks like he's headed to Chi-Town. Not sure where he'll play. Or what the Reds get in return. More later...

UPDATE: The Reds will get RP Nick Masset and 2B Danny Richar in return for Griffey Jr. Griffey has ok'd the deal, so it looks like a done deal.

Achievers/Bums - 7/30/08

2008-07-30T22:00:00.017-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Adam Dunn - OF - Cincinnati Reds - 3/5, 2 HR - Adam Dunn might hit 40 HR's in the second half. Adam Dunn wants to eat your children. Adam Dunn eats flour and poops pancakes. Adam Dunn makes Bill Brasky look like a hobo.

Bobby Abreu - OF - New York Yankees - 3/4, 2 HR, 2B, 3 RBI, 4 R, BB - Bobby had a big day for the Yankees against the Orioles yesterday. He's getting hot at just the right time for owners needing to make a big move down the stretch.

Chad Billingsley - SP - Los Angeles Dodgers - CG Shutout, 5 H, 0 BB, 8 K's - Someone call Mulder and Scully, because this kid is "the truth". He's shutting teams out and he's doing it with K's. Billingsley has crossed over into keeper territory in most formats. I know you think it's too late, but make an offer for him anyway (unless you're in a league with me). People can be idiots, and you may get lucky.

BUMS

The Astros - Well, the Astros have gone and made another move to bolster their pitching staff for the stretch run. On Wednesday they received LaTroy Hawkins from the Yankees for a ham sandwich. When notified of the trade, Hawkins seemed almost as surprised as me: "I'm pretty excited," he said. "I was sitting at home doing nothing. Now all of a sudden a team wants me. I'm pretty excited about that." That's right, LaTroy - Ed Wade wants to drink your bathwater. Wade went on about how LaTroy is a "competitor" blah, blah, blah. The same blather he was spouting after the Wolf trade. So far, so bad on that one, by the way. I don't know exactly how much of Hawkins salary the Astros are going to have to pick up, but regardless of the amount, it's a waste. Sometimes I just want to choke Ed Wade. To celebrate the new addition, the Astros went out and got throttled by the Reds.

Fernando Rodney - RP - Detroit Tigers - Blown Save - F--- Rodney.

Jared from Subway - I'm sorry, but he's getting fat again. I don't have proof, but I can sense it.

2008 Trade Deadline Update: Pudge, Manny, Bay

2008-07-30T19:40:00.011-04:00

Today the Yankees traded away cuddle boy Kyle Farnsworth to the Yankees for Venezuelan heart-throb, "Pudge" Rodriguez (who incidentally enjoys a cuddle from time to time). The Tigers upgraded their dilapidated bullpen, and the Yankees get an everyday catcher to replace Jorge Posada, so this was probably a good move for both teams from a real baseball standpoint, but who cares about real baseball. From a fantasy perspective, I wouldn't get too excited about I-Rod moving to the Yankees. He's basically sucked since he got off the 'roids and shrunk, and the Detroit lineup was just as good (in theory) as the Yankees' lineup (in theory). I guess Farnsworth could get a chance at some saves, but you don't want any of that action. If you desperately need a catcher, you may want to take a chance on Brandon Inge, who will now be the every day catcher for the Tigers.

Manny to the Marlins? Not yet, but Ken Rosenthal says it's a possibility. I guess I'm used to the Marlins trading superstars, because this seems like an odd fit. I don't see it.

The Rays are reportedly interested in Jason Bay, but talks have cooled according to Jayson Stark.

Achievers/Bums 7/29/08

2008-07-30T10:49:00.005-04:00

Achievers

Brett Myers - SP - Philedelphia Phillies - W, 7.0 IP, 2Ks - Myers returned to form with a solid game against the Nats. Of course, I could pitch underhanded against the Nats and probably win, but that is not the point. Myers is more talented than his 2008 stats indicate. He is worth a flyer from your waiver wire or a "buy low" pick-up for the stretch run.

Miguel Tejada - SS - Houston Astros - 2/4, HR - Since moving to the two-spot in the Astros' lineup, the ageless wonder has gone 10/15 with 5 runs. While his HR stroke is not the same, Tejada can help you with average and runs with Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee hitting behind him. I would recommend buying low on Tejada before his streak makes him difficult to acquire.

Matt Garza - SP - Tampa Bay Bleep Rays - W, CG, 5Ks - Garza is so hot, if you turned off the lights, he would glow. Word to your mother.

Bums

Jose Guillen - OF - Kansas City Royals - Awwww, Jose wants to leave Kansas City. He says (via a "source")that management is not doing to enough to make the Royals a contender. Guillen has certainly done his share to the help the Royals achieve. In 2008 alone, he has called his teamates "babies," tried to fight the pitching coach, and said that he does not "give a (bleep) about the fans." Let us all weep gently in support of Jose. To the extreme.

Great Mustaches in History - Frank Zappa

2008-07-29T20:58:00.008-04:00

In honor of Jason Giambi's awesome mustache (and to just maybe kick him out of his slump), I present one of the great mustaches in history - Frank Zappa

FZ is the rock music equivalent of a single malt scotch - great, but certainly an acquired taste. Calling Zappa's music "rock" is a bit of a misnomer, as his music travels everywhere from jazz to classical to doo-wop.

I would recommend "Hot Rats," "Apostrophe(')" and "Sheik Yerbouti" as starters.

Here are some highlights

Guitar solo from "Punky's Whips" from the "Baby Snakes" film and soundtrack.

"Willie the Pimp" from "Hot Rats" featuring Captain Beefheart on vocals and an eight minute guitar solo.

"Camarillo Brillo/Muffin Man" from "Baby Snakes"

Random Thoughts

2008-07-29T20:53:00.014-04:00

I like the Teixeira-Kotchman trade for both teams. Mark Teixeira gives the Angels get the big bat that they have needed (an AL team with Maicer Izturis hitting 3rd is pathetic). In addition, the Angels are one of the few teams with a bankroll to potentially afford Teixeira.

The Braves get younger (25) and cheaper ($1.45 mil this year - under contract until 2011) with Casey Kotchman. He has a great glove and gives the Braves the good problem of having too many LH bats (McCann, Kotsay, Kelly Johnson).

This trade may be the first insight into the Braves' offseason, as they will have to start rebuilding. Chipper Jones has a few good years left in him, but he is not going to play more than 130 games. Brian McCann might be the best catcher in baseball, but his position is one in which injury could arrive at anytime. Smoltz is done, Glavine should retire, and Tim Hudson is probably going to need Tommy John surgery (cue picture of Billy Beane twirling his mustache and laughing). However, the Braves did not win their division for 14 years in a row by accident. Whatever they will do will probably work.
>>>>>
I have recently started using Netflix's "Watch Instantly" function, and I am so far impressed. If you have any Netflix account, you get unlimited hours to watch. The selection does not extend to every DVD available, but you do receive a large variety of options, including most NBC shows that are available on DVD (entire seasons of "30 Rock" and "The Office"), plus tons of low brow horror (I am pretty sure that every crappy Troma movie ever made is here). I watched "Phantom of the Paradise" last night, and I am watching "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" (which, honestly, has aged very well) right now . Finally, I am pretty sure that I have ADD.
>>>>>
I like the move that the Mets are making by sticking with Fernando Tatis in LF. It shows some guts on the part of Mets management, and he has a great backstory (0ut of baseball from 04-05 - returning now to raise money for his church). Tatis has been raking in July (.415/6/18), and, for at least one season, he was awesome (.298/34/107 way back in 1999). Of course, if the Mets pick up Raul Ibanez for cheap, that will be a good move, too.

Speaking of Ibanez, I still think that he would look good in the D'backs line-up. They have too many right-handed hitters that are prone to Ks. I would not want to depend on Chad Tracy for the stretch.
>>>>
Taxes. Death. Nomar hurt. I used Nomar on my money team for eight games (as a replacement for Cristian Guzman, who was replacing Rafael Furcal), but they were a great eight games with three HRs and eight RBIs. Still, I don't understand why teams, especially in the NL, give this guy space in their locker rooms. In case you care, I am now on the Marco Scutaro bandwagon.

Teixeira is an Angel

2008-07-29T18:56:00.003-04:00

Mark Teixeira has been traded to the Angels. I called it (see post below).

2008 Trade Deadline Update

2008-07-29T12:46:00.011-04:00

Is it just me or is this trade deadline more boring than an A-Rod/Madonna sex tape? The Sabathia and Harden trades were great, but since then it's been pretty underwhelming. Oooh...Xavier Nady....oooh. Speaking of Sabathia and Harden, I am enjoying the Cubs/Brewers series. Tonight's matchup of Sheets and Zambrano should be off the proverbial chain. Will Zambrano have his good control? Will Soriano continue his hot hitting? Will Ben Sheets arm fall off? Will Prince Fielder and CC Sabathia finally just get it over with and take a bite out of each other? Intriguing stuff, indeed.

Here is the latest on the boring trade rumors out there:

With Tim Hudson and Chipper Jones going on the DL, the Braves are waving the white flag and have opened season on Mark Teixeira. Teams interested in Tex include: Boston, Arizona and Tampa Bay, but since the Angels seem to be denying it the most, I expect him to land in Anaheim. I think Tex's fantasy value will stay about the same wherever he goes. Maybe he gets a little boost if he moves to Boston or LA.

There's speculation that Manny Ramirez could be headed to the Mets, but I really doubt that Manny is going anywhere. I don't think the Mets are willing to deal the prospects to get Manny, and I think we all need to remember that Manny bitches like this every couple of years and then he forgets about it and starts mashing again. That's right, just Manny being Manny. (Two Onion links in one post...FTW!!!)

I guess A.J. Burnett is not going anywhere. But why should you believe anything J.P. Ricciardi says?

With Burnett off the table, the most in-demand, stud pitcher is...wait for it...Jarrod Washburn. Apparently I wasn't the only one who just threw up a little bit in my mouth imagining Washburn in pinstripes because the deal looks to be dead.

Achievers/Bums 7/28/09

2008-07-29T10:36:00.009-04:00

Achievers
Ryan Braun - 3B/OF - Milwaukee Brewers - 1/3 HR, RBI - I was not on the Ryan Braun bandwagon as the season began. To me, Braun had sophomore slump written all over him. Eh, I was wrong. Really, really wrong. Braun hit another HR last night in a loss against the Cubs. It was his eight HR of the month, bringing his line for 2008 to .303/29/81. While he will lose a little value when his 3B eligibility expires next season, he will only be 25 when 2009 begins and will be a great player for seasons to follow.

Alfonso Soriano - OF Chicago Cubs - 2/4, 3 R, HR, RBI - The Lovable Losers stood up to the Milwaukee Brewers and the unstoppable force that is CC Sabathia last night in a 6-4 victory. Soriano homered against Sabathia and scored the go-ahead run in 9th inning. Beating Sabathia in Milwaukee was a big statement for the Cubs last night, and Soriano did more than his fair share. In his six games since returning from the DL, his line is .296/2/5 with one SB. Your chance to buy low on him has passed.

Kevin Slowey - SP - Minnesota Twins - CG SHO, Win, 5 Ks - While his overall stats are not impressive, (7-7, 4.00 ERA, 69 Ks in 96.2 IP), Slowey continues to pitch pretty well at home, shutting out a decent White Sox lineup on Monday. If you are looking for a streamer, you could do worse than pitching Slowey in the Metrodome, where he has four wins (including two SHO) with a 3.20 ERA and a 0.98 WHIP.

Bums
Hiroki Kuroda - SP - Los Angeles Dodgers - L, 3.2 IP, 7 ER - While streaming can be an effective way to manage your pitchers, you can also get burned. Entering Monday's game against the Giants, Kuroda was 3-0 at home, with a 2.63 ERA and two SHO. I pitched him in all of my leagues and was sufficiently charred. I can understand a bad start at home, but against the Giants? A team with Bengie Molina batting clean-up? Regardless, Kuroda has another start this week at home against the D'backs, and I will probably start him again.

James Shields - L, 7.1 IP, 5Ks, 3 ER - This is nitpicking a little bit, as Shields did have a quality start; however, it is Monday, so cut me some slack. While Shields has looked like a burgeoning ace for the last two seasons, he has possessed some Ervin Santana-esque qualities this year, and I mean that in a bad way. At home, Shields is dominant (7-1, 72Ks, 2.16 ERA, 0.88 WHIP), but he is stinky on the road (2-6, 44Ks, 5.93 ERA, 1. 40 WHIP). If the Rays are going to win the AL East this season, Shields needs to pitch better on the road, which he is capable of doing (4.25 ERA and 1.11 WHIP in 2007).

Jason Giambi - Despte my promptings, Giambi has continued to be very un-Dude this month with a .200/1/4 line since the All-Star break. He has been streaky this season, so hopefully Giambi and his 'stache are due for a hot streak soon. I wouldn't abandon ship yet, but I also wouldn't look away from picking up another hot hitter (Fernado Tatis, dare I say?) either.

Mike Mussina - SP - New York Yankees - L, 5 IP, 6 ER - I come not to bury Mussina, but to prasie him. On May 19, I picked up Mussina in my money league for a spot start. On May 20, he did not get out of the first inning at home against the Orioles. Like a petualant child not getting his way, I dropped the Moose before the game was even over. Since then, Mussina has gone 7-2, 2.66 ERA before last night's game. For some reason, the Orioles have it on Mussina, as he is 0-2 with an 11.12 ERA against the Birds this season. If there a point to this rant? Not really, but Mussina has been a pleasant suprise this season. If you own him, don't think that this is the beginning of the end of Mussina's great 2008 run.

Achievers/Bums - 7/27/08

2008-07-28T08:48:00.010-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Johan Santana - SP - New York Mets - Win, 9.0 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 5 K's - Santana has been a disappointment this year because expectations were so high. I was looking at his numbers so far and was surprised to find that they are strikingly similar to Jon Lester's, although Santana has 29 more K's. Lester has obviously had a solid season, but this is not what anyone was expecting from Johan in his debut NL season. He's still a very good pitcher and he turned in a complete-game, six-hitter against the Cards last night, but if I own Santana, I might try to shop him around today and see what I could get. His K/9 is a pedestrian 7.62, which has him looking up at such strikeout kings as Sean Marshall, Wandy Rodriguez and Bronson Arroyo.

Alfonso Soriano - OF - Chicago Cubs - 3/5, HR, 3 RBI, 2 R - Soriano provided some sorely-needed offense for the Cubs. Could this be the beginning of a huge second half as predicted by Brandt?

Jake Peavy - SP - San Diego Padres - Win, 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 10 K's - Peavy finished off a great July, where he went 3-1 with an ERA of 2.12, by dominating the Pirates. His strikeouts are back to what you would expect from him, and he looks like he's in perfect health.

David Wright - 3B- New York Mets - 3/5, HR, 3 RBI - David Wright is a fantasy beast. I feel like he's underrated because he plays second fiddle to A-Rod as a NY third baseman, but I think he has clearly delivered as a top-5 fantasy player this year. In a standard roto league, I'd probably only take Hanley, Berkman and A-Rod over him in a draft right now. His status has gone up as Delgado's production has increased too.

BUMS

Ervin Santana - SP - Los Angeles Angels - Loss, 5 IP, 5 ER, 7 H, 3 BB, 5 K's - Santana is who we thought he was. Remember, we thought he sucked on the road back in the day. Last night he reminded us why.

Javier Vazquez - SP - Chicago White Sox - Loss, 7 IP, 6 ER, 11 H, 2 BB, 3 K's - I love it when I try over and over again to trade for a player I covet, but the owner keeps giving me the middle finger, and then, on the same night that guy goes out and fails miserably, my guy, fresh of the DL, starts raking.

Achievers/Bums - 7/25/08

2008-07-25T23:00:00.009-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Joba Chamberlain - SP - New York Yankees - Win, 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 1 BB, 9 K - In his 10th start since moving to the rotation, Joba showed why Hank Steinbrenner called him the Yankees' answer to Beckett. It was nice to see him get a little deeper into the ballgame and cut down on the walks.

Carlos Delgado - 1B - New York Mets - 1/4, HR, 2 RBI - Don't look now, but Carlos Delgado is kind of awesome again. Last month: .355, 8 HR, 26 RBI, 20 R & only 16 K to 16 BB. I don't expect it to last all season, but there are worse options at first base.

Brian McCann - C - Atlanta Braves - 2/3, 2 HR, 5 RBI, SB, 2 BB - Huge night for the Braves' backstop. Is there any doubt that he's the number one fantasy catcher in all the realm? I submit that there is not.

BUMS

Edinson Volquez - SP - Cincinnati Reds - Loss, 4 IP, 7 H, 5 ER, 2 BB, 5 K - Uh oh, he's blaming mechanics. And I really, really hate to say I told you so...but I told you so.

Aramis Ramirez - 3B - Chicago Cubs - 0/4, 2 K - A-Ram is only hitting .168 over the last month, which is bad news for Cubs and fantasy owners. He's a streaky hitter, and I believe he'll bounce back. Try to buy him low if you can.

Jonathan Sanchez - SP - San Francisco Giants - Loss, 2.2 IP, 5 H, 6 ER, 4 BB, 2 K - Rough night for Sanchez against the D-backs. But don't panic, and for the love of Pete, don't drop him. He's been a better fantasy pitcher this year than Scott Kazmir, Rich Harden, John Maine or Matt Garza. You know you lucked into him and you should be happy for what you get. Greedy bastards.

Achievers/Bums - 7/24/08

2008-07-24T21:28:00.026-04:00

Achievers

Matt Cain - SP - San Francisco Giants - W, Complete Game SHO, 4Ks. Cain's slow start turned some owners off, but those who held onto the Giant have been rewarded. Try to pick him up if you can. How awesome could the Giants be next season if they get some real day-to-day players to go with Lincecum, Sanchez and Cain?

Oliver Perez - SP - New York Mets - Win, 7.2 IP, 12 Ks. Owning Perez is a roller coaster ride. Also, I am pretty sure that I am the first guy to make this analogy. Regardless, great game by the schizo southpaw.

Roy Halladay - SP - Toronto Blue Jays - W, 7.0, 6Ks. Roy Halladay ... blah blah ... win ... blah blah ... lots of innings ... blah blah blah. This guys does not stop, but you already knew that. I am only bringing him up because a genius in my keeper league left both Halladay and Cain on his bench today.

Bums

Philedelphia Phillies - Philles' fans like to brag about their great comeback last year. These guys always seem to forget the help that the New York Mets provided in their epic collaspe. After their incredible rally against the Met's crappy bullpen on Tuesday, the Phils had a chance to break the spirit of the Mets, but lost the series to the Mets by failing to win any of the next two games. For all the smack talk that the Phillies spew, they should have finished the Mets off this week, but the other NY team lives to choke another day.

Achievers/Bums - 7/23/08

2008-07-24T11:55:00.008-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Carlos Quentin - OF - Chicago White Sox - 3/4, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 3 R - Josh Hamilton aside, Carlos Quentin has been the outfield surprise of the season. Eric Byrnes' average draft position in Yahoo this year was 54.8, while Carlos Quentin didn't even register. There are a bunch of fantasy owners who can commiserate with the D-back brass who decided they'd rather have Byrnes for $30 million over Quentin for next to nothing and now have to watch Quentin and his Latin-heartthrob good looks kick major ass this year while Byrnes founders on the DL.

Mike Mussina - SP - New York Yankees - Win, 8.0 IP, 0 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 7 K's - Hank Steinbrenner should've told Mussina to start pitching like Jamie Moyer a long time ago. Moose has been just what the Yankees have needed since then: an ace.

Jeff Mathis - C - Los Angeles Angels - 2/4, HR, 6 RBI - Looking for some pop from the catcher position? Go pick up Chris Ianetta. But Mathis did have six RBI yesterday, so he's a mandatory achiever for the day.

Adam Dunn - OF - Cincinnati Reds - 2/4 HR, 5 RBI - Dunn is up to 29 home runs this year, so he's got 11 to go. If your league doesn't penalize for hitter strikeouts, you definitely need to pick him up now and ride the wave before it's over.

(Yeah, I know C.C. had another shutout last night, but I'm tired of talking about how awesome he is.)

BUMS

Greg Maddux - SP - San Diego Padres - Loss, 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 4 K's - Maddux wasn't terrible yesterday, but it has now been 14 starts in a row without a win. I love Maddux as much the next guy, but he's pretty much un-ownable at this point - even pitching for the Padres.

The Astros - The Astros have lost four in a row and are looking up at the Pirates and Reds in the NL Central, which makes the trade for Randy Wolf look even more foolish than it did when it happened. It wasn't quite as bad as the Pirates acquisition of Matt Morris a couple of years ago, but I still can't understand why Ed Wade and the Astros would sign Randy Wolf. Wade says he thinks the team still has a shot to compete this year, but even if that was true, why trade for Wolf? Even though Wade sees Wolf as a gamer, it doesn't change the fact that he has stunk away from Petco. The Astros just willingly saved the Padres a few million on a player who doesn't appear to want to play in Houston and will become a free agent next year. Wade said, "...It also gives us a chance to get a foot in the door with Randy (for next year)". According to this AP report, Wolf is already lobbying to go back to his beloved San Diego.

This Ain't 'Nam #3

2008-07-24T08:45:00.003-04:00

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

Rule #1 - Adam Dunn will hit 40+ home runs every year.

Rule #2 - When Vin Scully talks, you listen.

Rule #3 - While it may sound like fun at the time, asking dudes from your office to join your fantasy league will ultimately result in Tom Glavine being drafted in the first round and lots of questions about how the scoring works. It's not worth it.

Rule #4 - When Tim McCarver talks, you press the mute button.

Rule #5 - It's all in the reflexes.

Achievers/Bums - 7/22/08

2008-07-22T19:52:00.031-04:00

Separated at Birth
Jim Bowden and Roddy Piper

ACHIEVERS
Nick Markakis - OF - Baltimore Orioles - Markakis has finally found his groove. Since the beginning of June, Markakis has hit .333 with 5 HRs and 28 RBIs. He added to those totals tonight by going 2/4 with a 2B and HR. Markakis won't help you too much with HRs and RBIS, so don't overpay for him. If your league ranks OBP or BBs, see if you can pick him up, but it might be too late.
Adam Lind - OF - Toronto Blue Jays - The super-prospect went 4/5 with a HR and 3 RBIs against the Orioles. While he will eventually be a decent player, Lind will still be inconsistent this season. Play at own risk.
Philadelphia Phillies - The Phillies showed some heart in coming back against the Mets in the first game of a big series. And we all know how tough the Mets are when they are under pressure. (BTW, Joe Blanton stinks)

BUMS
Jim Bowden - GM - Washington Nationals - I will give Bowden credit for one thing: he makes me feel confident that I could be a MLB general manager. First, the Nats traded Jon Rauch for 2B Emilo Bonifacio, adding to the Nats' stable of weak hitting IFs (Felipe Lopez, Ronnie Belliard, Willie Harris). Rauch was a solid if not specatular closer who was under contract until 2010 with his highest salary totalling only $2.9 million. While he was not untouchable, Rauch was worth more than another 2B who can't hit.

Of course, you can't discuss weak hitting middle infielders without mentioning Cristian Guzman. Guzman's 2008 success has been a pleasant suprise, very similar to Dmitri Young's comeback with Nationals in 2007. After his great season, Bowden signed the oft-injured, poor fielding Young to an extension. Instead of moving Young with his value restored, Bowden rendered him untradeable by signing him to a large contract. Young now resides on the DL (shakes magic eight ball) .... to get his diabetes under control. (Somewhere, even Mark Prior and JD Drew are making fun of "Da Meat Hook.") Bowden today signed the oft-injured, poor fielding Guzman to an extension. Instead of moving ... you get my drift. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Those teams with Jim Bowden as your GM are condemned to be stinky.

Johan Santana/NY Mets Bullpen Did Santana spend his off season desecrating an Indian burial ground? Beating up nuns? Speaking our new Messiah's name in vain? Santana had a pretty good outing tonight (8 IP, 4 Ks, 2 R) against the Phils, but his awful luck reared its head again. He is wiping his tears away tonight with $100 bills, but Santana is quickly losing time to redeem himself for this season.
It is not fair to blame Santana's bad luck; you really need to blame the Met's crummy bullpen. Duaner Sanchez, de facto closer with Billy Wagner on the shelf, rose to the occasion by giving up three runs without getting a single out. I predict that the Mets will overpay for a RP in the next week. Hey, the Nats have Jon Rauch ... oh, nevermind.

Wolf Traded to Houston

2008-07-22T16:05:00.004-04:00

Randy Wolf just lost what was left of his fantasy value as he was apparently traded to the Astros today. Obviously, a move from Petco to the Juice Box is not going help his bloated 4.74 ERA improve, especially since he was 1-6 with a 6.63 ERA in away games this year. I'm dropping him.

This was a great move by San Diego to realize that they are in the basement of the NL Worst and they don't have a shot to compete this year, so they may as well move Wolf's salary and get something in return. I have no idea what the Astros are thinking.

Achievers/Bums - 7/21/08

2008-07-21T22:47:00.009-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Randy Johnson – SP – Arizona Diamondbacks – Win, 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 1 BB, 4 K's – With only four K's, it was not Vintage Unit, but it was pretty damn good. Johnson outdueled a filthy Rich Harden to get the win against the Cubs. It appears that Harden is going to have to throw a perfect game to get a W with the Cubs, by the way.

Miguel Cabrera – 1B/3B – Detroit Tigers – 5/6, 6 RBI, 2 R – These were the video game numbers I was expecting from the Tigers going into the season. There were a lot of Tigers with a chance to named "Achiever" today, but six RBI's gets you on the list every time. Miguel could be the beast of the second half.

The Rays – Is it too late to recant my second-half bums predictions? It's only been a few games, but so far Kazmir, Longoria and the Rays (that's right just Rays, they've earned it) are starting to convert me. Longoria was 2/5 with a HR and 2 RBI and Kazmir got the win after pitching seven innings of two-hit ball with nine K's.

BUMS

Francisco Cordero – RP – Loss, .2 IP, BS, 1 H, 3 BB, 3 ER – Cordero had another brutal outing last night and then made excuses. Trevor Hoffman and Brad Lidge don't make excuses, and neither should you, you piece of crap. You got rocked. Period.

Jose Valverde – RP – Loss, .1 IP, BS, 5 H, 1 BB, 6 ER – Speaking of overrated, highly paid, piece-of-crap, NL Central closers, Jose Valverde went and made Cordero's blown save look a little less horrible.

Royals Pitchers – If I had to pick just one, I guess it would be Jimmy Gobble, who gave up ten earned, but the whole pitching staff should be ashamed after giving up 19 to the Tigers. That's embarrasing.

Random Thoughts - 7/21/08

2008-07-21T22:24:00.019-04:00

Per si.com, the Rockies are lightly peddling Matt Holliday, but are asking for everything and the proverbial kitchen sink in return. I do not think that Holliday will be traded during the season, but I would gamble that the Rockies will move him in the offseason to give his new team a full year rental. I got the yips with Holliday earlier this year and moved him in my keeper league. If you check his career splits, he is a Hall of Famer when in Colorado and below average everywhere else (1.085 - Home OPS; .790 - Road OPS. In comparison, Lyle Overbay's career OPS is .812). You have a chance now to sell Holliday at his highest value, but follow the Rockies' strategy and hold out for everything you can get.

By the way, is it me, or does Matt Holliday look a liiiitle bit like Dwight Yoakum in "Sling Blade?"

>>>>>

Since you demanded it, a Patrick Swayze update.

>>>>>

"The Dark Knight" is awesome. It's not the "Godfather II", but it is the best movie with a guy dressed like a bat that you will see this summer. Plus, no bat nipples.

>>>>>

Over at ajc.com, Mark Teixeira potential trade destinations are mentioned. I would love to see him in the Diamondback's lineup, but they emptied their farm system when they acquired Dan Haren. They are not going to trade whoever they have left for a guy that they probably won't be able to sign. The LA Angels could really use him - tonight is the fourth game in a row that Maicer Izturis is hitting third - but you have to wonder if the ghost of Gary Matthew's contract will keep them from trading for a Scott Bora's client.

>>>>>

The Onion AV Club has an interesting comparison of two of the "best worst " movies ever. I can testify to the greatness of "Manos: Hands of Fate." However, the new contender is "Troll 2." Apparently, the movie is now on tour in various towns, accompanied by cast members. In addition, this movie has generated its own website and accompanying documentary. "Troll 2" is now on the Netflix queue, but it will be difficult to convince The Chief of Staff (ie -the wife) to experience "Manos" again.

Achievers/Bums - Weekend Edition

2008-07-21T17:37:00.016-04:00

Achievers

Cliff Lee - SP - Cleveland Indians - Yes, it was against Seattle, but Lee earned his 13 win with a complete game on Sunday. He now stands at 13-2 with a 2.29 ERA and 110Ks in 133.2 innings.

Cody Ross - OF - Florida Marlins - Four hits, including a 2B, 3B and HR, over two days against Philly. He still might on your waiver wire, as I picked him up in two leagues this morning. Plus, he might have the best picture on Yahoo, though this Cody's picture might be better.

Evan Longoria - 3B - Tampa Bay Blank Rays - The Desperate H-Ray continued his quest for Rookie of the Year with a Grand Slam against demigod Roy Halladay. His line is now .272/18/68 with six SBs for a little spice.

Bums

Brandon Lyon - Lyon got rocked, giving up five runs in 2/3 of an inning, blowing the save and costing Brandon Webb his 14th victory. Co-bum honors should go Bob Melvin for working him for the third day in a row. While he has been stinky in his last two appearances, I would not worry too much. If you are panicking, pick up Tony Pena.

Rickie Weeks - It seems that every season is supposed to be Weeks' breakthrough season, but in the end, Weeks ends up as a disappointment. This season is no different, except that the Brewers have picked up paleolithic 2nd baseman Ray Durham. I am not saying that Durham is old, but for his first birthday, his parents gave him fire as a present. Regardless, Weeks needs to improve his .326 OBP quickly, or it will be pine time for him.

Kerry Wood - Water is wet, the sun rises in the east, and Kerry Wood will probably go on the DL with his blister. Wood should be complimented for going this deep in the season before getting injured. If you are a smart Wood owner, you already have Carlos Marmol. If you don't have Marmol, you should hope that Damaso Marte or Jonathan Broxton are still available on the waiver wire.

Great Mustaches in History - Magnum TA

2008-07-21T16:25:00.011-04:00

In honor of Jason Giambi's awesome mustache (and also to inspire him out of his slump, even though he did hit an HR yesterday), I present one of the great mustaches in history - '80's NWA superstar Magnum TA.

Born Terry Allen, Magnum TA was named after his slight resemblance to another Magnum. He quickly shot to fame in south, particularity with Jim Crockett Promotions, one of the major divisions of the National Wrestling Alliance.

During the 1980's, Magnum TA was a huge star. He had legendary feuds with the Four Horseman, especially in a series of "I Quit" matches with Horseman Tully Blanchard, and with "Russian Nightmare" Nikita Koloff (who is now a Pentecostal preacher - who'd thunk it). As he was being groomed to be a World Champion, Magnum's career came to shocking end when he crashed his Porsche into a telephone pole. Magnum TA was fortunate to be alive, but his body was left partially paralyzed. His career was finished.

In a cage against Wahoo McDaniel

Promo with the Rock N' Roll Express

Magnum TA gets beat up by the Andersons (Please note Magnum's poor choice of words around 1:15)

\
Getting into it with Ric Flair in "The Suit."

Achievers/Bums - 07/18/08

2008-07-19T10:11:00.007-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Nomar Garciaparra – 1B/3B/SS – Los Angeles Dodgers – 3/5, 2 HR 3 RBI – Mr. Hamm had a great offensive night in a big game against the D-backs. He played SS and batted fifth for Joe Torre's squad and is probably worth a pickup due to his multi-position eligibility. Obviously, he's a huge health risk, so don't get too excited.

CC Sabathia – SP – Milwakee Brewers – Win, 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 0 BB, 10 K's – Boy, has Sabathia been just what the Brewers were hoping for, or what? He's 3-0 as a Brewer with two complete games. If you were able to get Sabathia earlier in the season when he was struggling, pat yourself on the back and enjoy watch the big fella the rest of the season.

Bronson Arroyo – OF – Cincinnati Reds – Win, 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K's – I've been pretty hard on Bronson lately (he deserved it), but he's quietly been a pretty effective pitcher over his last few starts with four wins in a row.

BUMS

Clay Buchholz – SP – Boston Red Sox – Loss, 4.2 IP, 8 H, 4 ER, 2 BB, 2 K's – Boston's defense was terrible last night, but Buchholz gave this one away early. He'll have every opportunity to succeed in Boston's rotation, but he hasn't shown much lately.

Zack Greinke – SP – Kansas City Royals – Loss, 3 IP, 11 H, 7 ER, 3 BB, 2 K's – This is the second time this year that the White Sox have rocked Greinke. He's 0-6 lifetime now at U.S. cellular and last night he got crushed.

Jacob Ellsbury – OF – Boston Red Sox – 0/4, K – Ellsbury has been terrible over the last month, batting .232 with 15 K's and only four walks. You want worse news? He is only stolen one base out of four attempts in the same time span. That said, if you've found an owner who has give up one him, I'd buy low. He's going to bat lead-off for the Sox for a long time and his numbers will absolutely bounce back.

Oakland Fire Sale Continues

2008-07-17T21:20:00.008-04:00

Well, Adam Eaton can finally be put out of his misery. The A's shipped Joe Blanton and his 4.96 ERA to Philadelphia for three prospects, including top 2b prospect Adrian Cardenas who will probably be the MVP in 2010 if Billy Beane wants him. Blanton is an innings-eater, but he hasn't been very good since early last year. He could be a serviceable spot starter against some of the weaker NL foes as he will have the Phillies potent offensive backing him up, but he will also be moving to a much more hitter-friendly park.

This Ain't 'Nam #2

2008-07-17T12:11:00.012-04:00

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

Thank God baseball is back today. Here are some rules to get you ready for the second half.

Rule #1 - The National League will find a way to lose the All-Star game.

Rule #2 - There isn't one pitcher I would trust pitching at Coors Canaveral. Humidor or no humidor.

Rule #3 - If you aren't rooting for Josh Hamilton, you are a holier-than-thou loser and people don't like you.

Rule #4 - The number of Quality Starts is a better indicator of a good fantasy starting pitcher than his number of Wins.

Rule #5 - "There are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born fat, and there's people that were once thin but became fat...so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside." As usual, Bender was right.

Top Five Projected Second Half Bums - Brandt Edition

2008-07-16T21:44:00.001-04:00

Now, it is time to visit to the dark side. (No, not there). Let's see who I think will fail in the 2nd half.

Dan Haren - SP - Arizona Diamondbacks - Haren had a great 1st half in his NL debut, gaining 8 wins, 112Ks and a 2.72 ERA. Of course, Haren always has a great first half, but it is his traditional 2nd half achievements that place him on this list.

Haren's 2007 1st half = 10-3, 101 Ks, 2.30 ERA.
Haren's 2007 2nd half = 5-6, 91Ks, 4.15 ERA.
Haren's 2006 1st half = only 5 wins, but 98Ks, 3.52 ERA, 1.13 WHIP.
Haren's 2006 2nd half = 8 wins, but with 78Ks, 4.91 ERA (including 5.80 in September) and a 1.31 WHIP.
Prognosis - Sell high while you can.

Kevin Youkilis -1B/3B - Boston Red Sox - The legendary "Greek God of Walks" had a great first half this season with a line of .314, 14, 63 equaling a .933 OPS (Yes, I know your league does not count OPS, but it is a great indicator.) These figures are better yet similar to Youkilis' 1st half line from 2007 of .328, 9, 44 with a .920 OPS. What did Youkilis' 2007 2nd half look like? How about .238, 7, 39 with a .747 OPS. How about 2006? .258, 3, 29 with .728 OPS. Unless you are using him as sub due to his 1B/3B eligibility, you might want to sell him before he realizes the All-Star game is over.

Josh Hamilton - OF - Texas Rangers - I want to be wrong. I want to be wrong. I want to be wrong. But I can't see how Hamilton does well this half. First, his 1st half was so amazing - .310, 21, 95 - that a regression must be due. Second, due to past his drug issues, if he gets hurt (played only 90 games in 2007), Hamilton will have to recover without the help of painkillers. My brain says sell high; my heart says Hamilton for 2008 MVP.

Rich Harden/AJ Burnett/Ben Sheets - Disabled List - On the other end of the spectrum, I have no problems calling these guys bums. With the Oakland A's, Harden went 5-1 with a 2.34 ERA and an impressive 92Ks in only 77 innings. Yet Billy Beane shipped him out as soon as he could. Does Billy Beane ever end up on the wrong end of trade? Exactly.

AJ Burnett has not been awful (10 wins, 126Ks), but he hasn't been great either (4.96 ERA, 1.46 WHIP). Don't get delusions of grandeur when you hear mentions of him going to a contender. Move him now, or move him as soon he goes to a contender.

Ben Sheets is a bit of a conundrum to me. He is always hurt (averaging only 134 innings from 2005-2007), but Sheets is in his contract season, which might prevent him from collapsing until the Yankees give him Kevin Brown's old contract next season. Regardless, tread lightly, as you might jar lose Sheets' shoulder if you step too hard.

Ryan Ludwick - OF - St. Louis Cardinals. Yes, he went .289, 21, 65 in the first half. Yes, he is also 30 years old, had 28 career HRs coming into this season, and you never heard of him before this season. Come sell away, come sell away, come sell away with me ....

Other bums - John Danks - SP - Chicago White Sox, Joe Saunders - SP - Los Angeles Angels, Chone Figgins - 2B/3B/OF, Milton Bradley - OF - Texas Rangers

The Fiery Furnaces Hate the Cubs Too. Cool!

2008-07-16T14:48:00.014-04:00

My favorite band just got even favoriter. Check out this interview the Fiery Furnaces did with mlb.com. The best part is near the end where Matt Friedberger says he hates the Cubs and they deserve to lose! Awesome. Finding out that your favorite band hates the Cubs is like finding out that your eighth-grade crush is also into D&D.
If you aren't acquainted with the Friedberger siblings' music, you should watch the concert below. Turn off all of the lights and just let the experience shower over you.

Top Five Projected Second Half Bums - Donny Edition

2008-07-15T14:21:00.003-04:00

I must admit that I was ready for the All-Star break this year. In my oldest and favorite league I was relying on Erik Bedard and Aaron Harang to be my top two starting pitchers. Instead, they both just pitched like number two, and I am looking way up at first place. Here are some guys I predict will be number two in the second half.

Carl Crawford - OF - Tampa Bay Beelzebub Rays - I don't believe in the Rays and I don't believe in Crawford. Forget his name is Carl Crawford for a minute and consider the fact that he has never hit more than 18 home runs or 81 RBI's in a season. I compare Crawford to a guy like Corey Hart, who gets way less hype, but has similar numbers. Sure, Hart will only give you about 25 SB's, which is half of what you get from Crawford, but you'll end up with a similar BA, more RBI's and twice the HR's. Crawford will end up with another 20 SB's in the second half, but he shouldn't be confused with actual elite power/speed guys like Grady Sizemore, Hanley Ramirez, Brandon Phillips or David Wright. If you desperately need steals and can get him really cheap, go for it, but don't overpay as I don't see a big second half for Carl.

Pat Burrell - OF - Philadelphia Phillies - At some point he's gotta remember he's Pat Burrell, right? Look, Pat the Bat had a surprisingly wonderful first half (.275 AVG, 23 HR, 57 RBI) and his eye at the plate seems to have improved, as he is tied for the Major League lead in walks with Adam Dunn, but unlike Dunn, he has trimmed his K's significantly. I still like Burrell okay for the second half, but I don't think he keeps this pace. He usually ends the year with about 30 HR's and 95 RBI, and I expect him to end this year about the same. Chances are he will hit a prolonged slump at some point, so I would probably try to shop him based on his first-half numbers to see if you can get a nice return. You're not going to be able to get Grady Sizemore or Matt Holliday, but you might be able to snag Nick Markakis.

Evan Longoria - 3B - Tampa Bay Prince-of-Darkness Rays - Rookies aren't supposed to get called up and have huge offensive numbers right away. Ryan Braun was the exception; Alex Gordon is the rule. I expect Longoria to come back down to earth in the second half. Opposing pitchers are too smart and they will find his weak spot. Right now the hype machine is in overdrive for Longoria, and if it wasn't for Josh Hamilton, Longoria would be the big story of the All-Star break. His stock is soaring right now, and I would move him quickly. The only possible exception is if you are in a keeper league because I do think he will be a very good player in the league for years to come.

Kerry Wood - RP - Chicago Cubs - Kerry Wood has two big things working against him, 1 - He is a Cub, 2 - His name is Kerry Wood. I gambled on Wood in a couple of leagues this year and have been pleasantly surprised, but I don't expect a big second half. He's got a blister right now, and I wouldn't be surprised at all to see him spend some time on the DL. I always think it's a good idea to try to move a closer around this time and see what you can get anyway. Unless it's one of the elite such as: Joe Nathan, K-Rod or Papelbon, I would rather move a guy with a bunch of saves for a no-name closer and try to get something else in the deal. For example, if I could move Kerry Wood for C.J. Wilson and an A.J. Burnett, I'd do it.

Edinson Volquez - SP - Cincinnati Reds - This one hurts, and I almost didn't include him, but I have to be honest: I don't believe Volquez is going to have a great second half. As a Reds' fan, I hope I am terribly wrong, but hear my reasoning. First of all, he has never pitched more than 34 innings in the big leagues before this year and he is already at 117 IP. Having Dusty Baker as the man who decides how long to keep him on the mound doesn't exactly give me a warm fuzzy about this scenario either (although I was pleased to read that Dusty petitioned to Clint Hurdle to try to keep Volquez from pitching more than an inning in the All-Star game). Another concern is his 56 walks issued in the first half. He has managed to use his mid-nineties fastball and filthy, low-eighties circle-changeup to work out of jams, but I'm worried that the walks are going to catch up with him at some point. The most signficant stat of all for Volquez is that he has only allowed five home runs all year (that's a Bronson Arroyo inning) and only one at Great American Ballpark. To think that this trend will hold up in the second half just seems way too optimistic. Volquez doesn't have a body of work to compare to, and his last few starts have been shaky, so while I wouldn't be super-eager to move him, I'd listen to offers at this point.

Others to watch:

Joe Saunders - SP - Los Angeles Angels, Ryan Dempster - SP - Chicago Cubs, Milton Bradley - OF - Texas Rangers, J.D. Drew - OF - Boston Red Sox

The Natural Puts on a Show in the Bronx

2008-07-14T23:28:00.013-04:00

Josh Hamilton just put on a show unlike any I have ever seen. He set a record with 28 first-round homers in the Home Run Derby, and it was electric. Each bomb he hit was more impressive than the one before it. He said earlier in the day that he wouldn't be surprised to see someone hit it out of the stadium, and now I understand why. I actually thought he had hit a couple completely out, but I think they just barely missed. I know he hit a few over 500 feet - the longest at 518! After each towering fly ball he hit, I found myself jumping out of my seat and just watching in amazement. He apparently had a dream two years ago in which he was being interviewed in Yankee Stadium after participating in a Home Run Derby, and tonight it became a reality. Like most of the rest of America, I'm mesmerized with his story and feel like I'm watching a movie script play out. Maybe I'm a little caught up in the moment, but when Yankee Stadium erupted in chants of "Ham-il-ton, Ham-il-ton," I'll admit I got goose bumps.

Random Thoughts - 7/14/08

2008-07-14T20:35:00.019-04:00

The Arizona Diamondbacks are rumored to be interested in Raul Ibanez. For the D'backs, he would give them another LH bat to go with Chad Tracy (assuming that he stays healthy). With Ibanez, the D-backs could use a top five of Hudson-Jackson-Ibanez-Young-Tracy. The O-Dog (OBP - .359) and Conor Jackson (OBP - .387) make more sense at the top of his lineup. Chris Young and his .401 slugging percentage could hit fourth, and he might benefit with being surrounded by Ibanez and Tracy. For fantasy purposes, while Ibanez is not the sexiest player, he does have 55 RBIs and won't hurt you in average (.275). As he is in the last year of a contract, Ibanez should be motivated to play for the rest of the season. A move to a contender might be the necessary motivation to give a boost to these numbers
>>>>>>>
The Onion Movie is hillarious. Basically, it is a 2000's knockoff of The Kentucky Fried Movie, but a very entertaining knockoff nonetheless. Click HERE for an example (NSFW).
>>>>>>>
With Takashi Saito probably headed to DL, Jonathan Broxton will take over as closer for the Dodgers. Broxton has been closer in waiting for a few years. This season, he has acculmulated 46 Ks in 39.2 innings. His ERA of 3.40 is a bit of an illusion due to two bad outings in May. During the month of June, Broxton did not allow a single earned run. If you are a Saito owner or looking saves, he is worth the risk to pick up. However, it is important to remember that a dominant middle reliever is not guaranteed to make the move to closer (Rafael Betancourt feel free to raise your hands). Broxton has filled the role on occasion with mixed results. Pick him up if he is available, but don't overpay for Broxton.
>>>>>
If and when Brian Fuentes moves, Manny Corpas will get the first shot at closer over Taylor Buchholz. Depsite superior numbers (1.83 ERA and 35Ks in 44.1 innings), Buchholz will wait in the wings. If moved, Fuentes will be used in a set-up capcity, pretty much losing all of his value. Fuentes owners will want to grab Corpas. It is disappointing that Buchholz will not be the closer, but it does not mean that he lacks value. Taking advantage of his SP status, I have used Buchholz in various leagues. If you have in extra spot, he could give you an advantage in Ks, ERA and WHIP in HTH leagues.
>>>>>
Who had Ian Kinsler pegged as this awesome? No, you did not.
>>>>>
The Boston Globe is reporting that the Red Sox are interested in Mark Teixeira. They offered Kevin Youkilis and Craig Hansen to the Braves for the free agent-to-be. Even if this deal does not happen, expect the Braves to move Big Tex if they fall out of the race. While Teixeira would benefit to finish his year in an AL lineup, such a move would be pretty damning for Chipper Jones owners.
>>>>>>
Roy Halladay is freaking awesome. 11 wins, 7 CG, 2.71 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, 121/21 K/BB. In 146 innings this season, he has nearly reached his Ks from last year (139 Ks). At age 31, you have wonder when all of these innings will catch up with him. If Halladay can keep this up for a full season, it will be an incredible achievement.

Top Five Projected Second Half Achievers - Donny Edition

2008-07-14T18:12:00.001-04:00

As I prepare to watch the annual Home Run Derby tonight, I can only hope that Chris Berman will be providing the "back, back, back, back...oh juuust missed..." commentary again this year. Some people hate Berman, but I kind of enjoy him in a sick way. On some level he has to know that he comes off as an egotistical blowhard, but I don't think he cares. According to his bio at Brooks International, he has appeared onstage with Huey Lewis and the News "over half a dozen times" (why not just say seven?) as well as twice with Eddie Money. Who amongst us can make that claim? None of us? That's what I thought. Anyway, here are guys I think will blow up in the second half. Trade for them if you can. Pray for them to get injured if you can't.

Mark Teixeira - 1B - Atlanta Braves - Tex is a classic second-half monster. In 2007 he hit 18 of his 30 home runs and 64 of his 105 RBI in the second half. And that's nothing compared to 2006 when he hit a whopping 29 home runs in the second half. He may end up a Yankee or a Red Sock, which may not improve his numbers as much as you might think, as he has a nice little spot hitting after Chipper and before McCann, but it certainly can't hurt to be in a lineup with A-Rod or Man-Ram/Large Father. The downside of trying to trade for Teixeira is that it's pretty much common knowledge that he's a second-half stud. You'll probably have a tough time acquiring him, but if you're already an owner, hang on for a huge rest of the season for Tex.

Grady Sizemore - OF - Cleveland Indians - Considering the fact that Grady Sizemore has already nearly reached his career-highs in HR's and SB, this actually a pretty bold prediction, but I think this is his big breakout year. He has not been a huge second-half guy in the past, but he is running wild this year, and I think the power numbers are legit. Last week I predicted 40/40 for Grady and I'm sticking to it. And, yes, I am a card-carrying member of Grady's Ladies.

Miguel Cabrera - 3B/1B - Detroit Tigers - Awww, poor you. You used your first draft pick on Miguel Cabrera and he only gave you a .284 BA, 16 HR, 57 RBI & 43 R in the first half (AKA, nearly the identical numbers he had last year in the second half). Not to fear, Miggy is still in a potent offense that is starting to pull it together and he will have a big second half. Worst-case scenario, he matches his first-half numbers and ends up with 32/114/86, but I would project closer to 38/125/100 with a BA around .300. It's worth a try to make an offer on him, especially in a keeper league.

Javier Vazquez - SP - Chicago White Sox - Javier has been striking guys out in near obscurity for years now. Starting your career in Montreal tends to have that effect (see also: Cabrera, Orlando). There was the unfortunate stint in pinstripes in 2004, but since then he's been pretty solid. He's a good pitcher who can catch fire and become your fantasy ace at any moment if you'll just let him. Last year he was 9-3 in the second half with a K/BB ratio of 105/24. He's on a contending team this year and he will continue to get the K's. I think he'll rack up the wins also and I'm buying.

A.J. Burnett - SP - Toronto Blue Jays - I actually picked the Blue Jays to win the AL East this year. Yeah, I was the guy. The main reason was I loved the rotation of Halladay, Burnett and McGowan. Well, Halladay has been good, but the other two have been pretty brutal. But Burnett is a guy who really helped me down the stretch last year, and I had him on this list even before his performance last night against the Yankees. I can see him getting traded to a team like the Cardinals, which would be awesome for him. He's got all of the tools, and if he stays healthy I can see a huge second half for A.J. I think there is enough reward potential there to take the risk in trading for him if you need a SP for the second half.

Others to watch:

Nick Markakis - OF - Baltimore Orioles, Kevin Youkilis - 1B/3B - Boston Red Sox, Sean Gallagher - SP - Oakland A's, Matt Holliday - OF - Colorado Rockies

COMING SOON - Top Five Projected Second Half Bums

Achievers/Bums - 07/13/08

2008-07-13T22:18:00.014-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Chad Billingsley – SP – Los Angeles Dodgers – Win, 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 13 K’s – Billingsley is the real deal. He pitched a brilliant game against the fish last night, striking out thirteen and walking none. This is a guy I have tried to get in a couple of leagues, but probably didn't try hard enough. He had a pretty good first half, and after last night's start, the window to acquire him at a fair price may have just slammed shut.

CC Sabathia – SP – Milwakee Brewers – Win, 9 IP, 2 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 9 K’s – C.C. didn't appear to have his best stuff in the early innings, but the Reds didn't capitalize on the opportunities they had, and Sabathia went nine to secure the win. The turning point in the game was when C.C. cranked a no-doubter home run into the right field bleachers off of Homer Bailey in the bottom of the third. Sabathia has looked solid in his first two starts as a Brewer, and I expect him to have a phenomenal second half.

Carlos Beltran – OF – New York Mets – 3/4, 1 HR 3 RBI – Beltran has come alive in the last month, hitting eight HRs with twenty-four RBI in that span. The Mets have won their last nine games and they'll need Beltran keep playing at this level if they're going to make the playoffs. A lot of people say Reyes is the key to the Mets' success, but I think it's on Beltran. Reyes and Wright are going to be good, but will Beltran be able to deliver that kind of second half he did with the Astros in 2004?

BUMS

Derek Jeter – SS – New York Yankees – 0/4, 2 K's – Jeter has been moved into the leadoff spot with Damon out, and has actually been pretty good in that role so far, but he was owned by A.J. Burnett yesterday. I know I pick on Yankees' hitters a lot, but remember they were supposed to be the juggernaut, bitch? (link NSFW)

Jose Contreras – SP – Chicago White Sox – Loss, 4 IP, 10 H, 7 ER, 2 BB, 2 K's – Contreras has had some good moments in the first half, but he got mauled yesterday. Manager Ozzie Guillen - normally not prone to hyperbole - said, "I've never seen such a poorly pitched game in all of my years in baseball." So did he miss Gavin Floyd's start the other day or what?

Andrew Miller – SP – Florida Marlins – Loss, 1.2 IP, 5 H, 7 ER, 5 BB, 3 K's – I guess Ozzie missed this one too. Miller's line from Sunday night is just ugly to look at. We're talking Bronson Arroyo ugly. Remember when you blew a waiver spot on this guy when he got called up by the Tigers a couple of years ago? Yeah, it might be time to go ahead and admit that was a mistake.

Top Five Projected Second Half Achievers - Brandt Edition

2008-07-13T20:38:00.011-04:00

The season is officially half over. It is time to predict will achieve in the second half.

Alex Rodriguez -3B - New York Yankees - Yes, I know, this is a tremendously bold prediction. However, take this thought in context. A-Rod is coming off (for him) a fairly sub-par 1st half of a season. His divorce is going to put lot of extra pressure on him. These factors might give you reason to doubt the power of A-Rod. Also, it might give you the opportunity to buy low. If he stays healthy, A-Rod should continue to match his usual numbers. See if you can use the negativity around him to pick him up for below market value.
Robinson Cano - 2B - New York Yankees - Cano is one of those players who consistently has an awful first half, and then turns up after the All Star break. In 06', Cano hit .325/4/27 in the first half and .365/11/51 in the second half. In '07, Cano started .274/6/30 and finished .343/13/57. See a pattern? Pick up Cano this week before the break ends, and Cano begins his Rod Carew imitation.
Francisco Liriano - SP - Minnesota Twins - Per Rotoworld, Liriano has a streak of 20 scoreless innings in AAA. During this streak, he has a K/BB ratio of 24/3. It will not be long before the Twins bring him back to the Big Leagues. While Lirano has been a disappointment so far this season, the Twins were wise to send him down to AAA to let him find his groove again. If you are fortunate, he might be on your waiver wire. Otherwise, try to buy low on him before he comes back to the majors for the 2nd half.
Carl Crawford - OF - Tampa Bay D---l Rays - While I have always felt that Crawford is overrated, he is not as bad as he is playing. Crawford ended the first half in a 0-25 slump. In addition, he has had some knee and hamstring issues. While these are certainly not good signs, they are opportunity to buy low. Crawford has consistently provided R, SBs and Avg. He will have this week to recover and a six game homestrech to start the second half. Trade for Crawford before he gets hot again.
Alfonso Soriano - OF - Chicago Cubs - Soriano has been saddled with some hard luck this season. He started ice cold in April, followed by a DL stint after injuring himself by hopping unnecessarily after catching a fly ball. Once he came back, he started to blister the ball, hitting 10 HRs in May alone. Of course, this ended with a broken finger. However, this might have been a blessing in disguise. Soriano has been able to rest his legs for the second half and will return to a Cubs team that continues to hit well. While there will be lingering worries about the hand, Soriano should be fine. Try to buy him low if you have a manager tried of dealing with his injuries. If you already own Soriano, be patient and wait for a good second half.

Others to watch
Prince Fielder - 1B - Milwaukee Brewers, Clay Buchholtz - SP - Boston Red Sox, Dave Bush - SP - Milwaukee Brewers, Nick Markakis - OF - Baltimore Orioles,

COMING SOON - Top Five Projected Second Half Bums

Great Mustaches in History - Ron Mael

2008-07-13T12:20:00.007-04:00

In honor of Jason Giambi's awesome mustache (and to just maybe kick him out of his slump), I present one of the great mustaches in history - Ron Mael from the band Sparks.

"Something for the Girl with Everything"

And, of course, "Moustache"

Achievers/Bums - 7/12/08

2008-07-12T17:00:00.009-04:00

Achievers
Rich Harden - SP- Chicago Cubs - The Cubs' newest acquisition made an impressive debut today, racking up 10 Ks in just 5.1 innings. However, he does play for the Cubs, so this story cannot have a happy ending. The bullpen blew a seven run league, but won the game in 11 innings. Regardless, Harden's debut was memorable, and he has been on their team for about a week without hurting himself. Yet.
Matt Joyce - OF - Detroit Tigers - Who the f*%# is Matt Joyce? Rotoworld doesn't even have a picture of his face (or maybe he is The Question). Whoever Matt Joyce is, he has hit three HRs in the last four games. Don't pick him up unless you are searching for the next Chris Shelton, and I mean that in a bad way.
Shane Victorino - OF - Philadelphia Phillies - Anyone with a nickname of “Flyin’ Hawaiian” is a Permanent Achiever in my opinion. However, I will list him today for smacking a pair of HRs against the D'backs. The power is a bit of an aberration; you probably want to grab him for SBs, especially if he starts another one of his hot streaks.

Bums
Carlos Marmol - RP - Chicago Cubs - As the chief culprit in the Cubs bullpen disaster, Marmol gave up four runs in just one inning. You can't blame him entirely. Marmol has been worked like a rented mule this season. Entering today's game, Marmol had pitched 51.1 innings, almost matching last year's today of 69.1. Marmol has been a great source of Ks, in addition to helping out with WHIP and ERA. Unfornately, this might be the start of his eventual downturn.
Adam Eaton - SP - Philadelphia Phillies - In a meltdown almost identical to his collaspe back in May, Eaton fell apart in the fourth inning of today's loss to the D'backs, capped off by giving up a double to SP Randy Johnson. He should not be on your team in the first place, but I had to point him out for getting raked by the Big Unit.
Jason Giambi - 1B/DH - New York Yankees - Since erupting for six RBI on July 2nd against the Texas Rangers, Giambi and his porntastic mustache have entered a 1-22 slump. I would say that Giambi's numbers are going into a black hole, but apparently that might be offensive.

Achivers/Bums - 7/11/08

2008-07-12T09:00:00.009-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Roy Halladay – SP – Toronto Blue Jays – Win, 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 8 K’s – Halladay was in vintage form as he shut out the hapless Yankees last night. Not only is the Good Doctor leading the majors in complete games as usual, he's striking guys out again. Does a K/BB ratio of 121/21 do anything for ya?

Cliff Lee – SP – Cleveland Indians – Win, 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 7 K’s – Uncle Cliffy was nifty against the Satan Rays.

Ryan Howard – 1b – Philadelphia Phillies – 2/5, 1 HR 1 RBI, 2 R – I don't like Ryan Howard because he strikes out so much, but you can't argue with his recent production. His last week looks like this: .393 BA, 6 HR, 11 RBI, 7 R.

BUMS

Alex Rodriguez – 3b– New York Yankees – 1/4, K – Lately A-Rod looks like a virgin at the plate. Right now he is borderline awful, and I may have to give him a holiday from my starting lineup. Hopefully he will get back into the groove again soon and justify my love. Uhh, nobody's perfect? OK, I'm done.

Gavin Floyd – SP – Chicago White Sox – Loss, 2.2 IP, 5 H, 6 ER, 7 BB, 2 K's – OK, enough talking about Floyd being snubbed for the All-Star team.

Carl Crawford – OF – Tampa Bay Lucifer Rays – 0/4, 2 K's, E – All of the sudden Carl Crawford has turned into Corey Patterson.

This Ain't 'Nam #1

2008-07-10T13:31:00.009-04:00

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

Damn, right Walter. This ain't 'Nam. If it was 'Nam, the first pick in the draft would probably be Kyle Farnsworth or, I don't know... Milton Bradley. I bet those guys would kick major ass all decked out in camo and face paint with AK-47s and no rules.

But this ain't 'Nam and this is ain't no Outback Steakhouse. There are rules. Here are 5:

Rule #1 - Just because a guy is a rookie phenom who plays for your favorite team doesn't mean he's a better outfield option than Raul Ibanez. (I'm looking at you Jay Bruce.)

Rule #2 - The Cubs will never win anything.

Rule #3 - You can't win your league with rookie pitchers, but you can trade them to suckers in your league for Chipper Jones.

Rule #4 - Derek Jeter will always be drafted way too high, and Orlando Cabrera will always be available for way too long.

Rule #5 - It's all about K/BB ratio. Period.

Achievers/Bums - 7/9/08

2008-07-09T23:04:00.008-04:00

Achievers
Lance Berkman - 1B/OF - Houston Astros - The Big Puma stole bases 13 and 14 tonight. In your face, Michael Bourn!
Kevin Youkilis - 1B/3B - Boston Red Sox - The Greek God of Walks has been welding the hot bat lately. Today, he had three hits, including a HR and four RBIs. However, he is going to fall apart in the 2nd half.
Miguel Cabrera - 1B/3B - Detroit Tigers - I think that my nickname streak is going to end. The Flabby Venezuelan doesn't have a ring to me. His two-run HR in the bottom of the 9th won it today for Detroit. He has three dingers in the last two games. Quietly, Cabrera now has 16 HRs and 59 RBIs.
Ben Sheets - SP - Milwaukee Brewers - One, I can't spell "Milwaukee." Thank you Bill Gate's haircut for "Copy and Paste." Two, I don't care if Ben Sheets rescues puppies from a burning building, he still stinks and will be injured in a bizarre gardening accident that will best be left unsolved. Third, he lost today, but struck out 11 batters in only six innings.

Bums
Mark Mulder - SP - St. Louis Cardinals - I feel bad listing the guy as a "Bum," but Mulder left his first start today after just 16 pitchers. Despite naming him a "Bum", I hope he recovers from the Billy Beane curse.
Arizona Diamondback's offense - The D'Backs were shut out by my Washington Nationals. Pathetic. In glass half-full news, Chris Young only struck out once, leaving him with 88 Ks in 90 games.
F-Rod - RP - Los Angeles Angels - F'Rod actually blew a save tonight against Texas. Send a trade immediately to whoever owns him. It might be your lucky night.

Random Thoughts

2008-07-09T17:42:00.009-04:00

"That's just, like uh ...your opinion, man"
Billy Beane plays baseball like a fantasy manager. He just "sold high" on a great but oft injured pitcher in Rich Harden. Beane never seems to lose on a trade or personnel decision. Mark Mulder, Barry Zito, Tim Hudson and Nick Swisher all underperformed following their departure from Oakland (though Hudson did recover a few seasons later). The only exception so far is Dan Haren; however, we have yet to see if he has his annual 2nd half collapse. Last season, Haren started 10-3 with a 2.30 ERA, and he finished post-All Star with 5-6 4.15 ERA. After all of the problems the Cubs had with Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, I cannot understand why they would make this trade. While they did not give up too much (OF Murton and IF/OF Patterson never had a place to play, while Gallagher IMHO has a lot of upside), it seems like an unnecessary move to make.
>>>>
The NL West is the worst division in MLB. After finishing April at 20-8, the D'backs are now 45-46 after getting shut out by my lowly Nationals. Despite a great bullpen and strong starting staff, their offense needs solid LH bat and a leadoff hitter with an OBP higher than Chris Young's .305 OBP. Speaking of terrible offense, if they can win tonight, the punchless Dodgers will be tied for 1st place.
>>>>
Aaron Harang has been sent back to Cincy to get his "forearm" examined. "Forearm" of course being the new PC term for "elbow." While it stinks to see a player get hurt, perhaps Harang owners can take solace in having a reason for his decent into Jose Lima-ness. Of course, Harang never seemed to recover from being used in relief during the Red's 18 inning game against May 25. Oh, that Dusty ....
>>>>
Yes, I am Hiroki Kuroda owner, and, yes, he sat on my bench in my money league on Monday.
>>>>
Justin Duchscherer AKA "The Douchehammer" is your model "sell high" player. Starting this season, he was a thirty year old former reliever with a 21-16 record. Now, he is the leading MLB with a 1.78 ERA after 101 innings. Regardless, any AL pitcher with an ERA under 2.00 this late in the season is impressive. He might be worth the risk to hold,even if just to stream him at home, where he has a 1.23 ERA.
>>>>
The current #1 song is "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry. Ten years ago, it was "The Boy is Mine" by Brandy and Monica (heeeeey). Twenty years ago, it was "The Flame" by Cheap Trick.

Cubs Get Harden

2008-07-09T09:59:00.005-04:00

How do you make Rich Harden more cursed? You ship him to Northside Chicago. The place where pitchers' arms go to die. Hey, at least Dusty isn't there anymore. He'd have Rich throwing 130-pitch complete games. Or probably game, because that would probably kill poor Rich. I'm surprised the Cubs made the trade. Harden has lost velocity and looked a little off in his last two starts, but I guess they had to counter the Sabathia pickup by the Brewers. I honestly don't think this trade has a huge effect on Harden's fantasy value. He faces worse hitting and gets more run support, but he pitches in a less pitcher-friendly park. But as I emailed Brandt this morning, as long as Harden stays healthy, I wouldn't care if he was traded to the Rockies. Problem is, he won't stay healthy. He just won't. If you're ever going to sell Rich Harden, now is definitely the time.

10 First Half Surprise Achievers (Pitchers)

2008-07-09T09:45:00.001-04:00

"...and proud we are of all of them."

Edinson Volquez – SP – Cincinnati Reds – 11 W, 2.36 ERA, 1.25 WHIP, 116 K – It's really amazing that this kid has been so good that most Reds fans don't really miss Josh Hamilton. Having said that, he's going to hit a cold streak so if you can get proven, top-tier talent in return, you should probably consider doing the deal. I traded Volquez and Carlos Guillen for A-Rod in a keeper league and have had private moments of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but that's the type of player you'd have to get if you move Voltron.

Cliff Lee – SP – Cleveland Indians – 11 W, 2.43 ERA, 1.04 WHIP, 99 K – Cliff Lee has been a revelation this year. His stuff looks fantastic, and from a roto standpoint, he's had one of those first halves that can carry an entire fantasy pitching staff in ERA and WHIP. My instinct says there is no way he can have a similar second half, but I'd probably hold on to him and ride him out as long as possible.

Ervin Santana – SP – Los Angeles Angels – 10 W, 3.53 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 112 K– This guy was written off by everyone as a home spot starter, and understandably so, but he seems to have gotten things straightened out after a stint in triple-A last year. He's always had the stuff, but it seems he's finally put it all together.

Joe Saunders – SP – Los Angeles Angels – 12 W, 3.07 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 63 K – The guy who was fighting out E. Santana for the 5th starter job in spring training leads the majors in W's. The bad news: only 58 K's does not portend good things for the 2nd half.

Ryan Dempster – SP – Chicago Cubs – 10 W, 3.13 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 98 K – Moving from reliever to starter is hard. Just ask Danny Graves. Or Joba Chamberlain for that matter. But Dempster is making his organization look brilliant for making the move.

George Sherrill – RP – Baltimore Orioles – 2 W, 27 SV, 3.72 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 27 K – At least Bedard was worth it, eh Mariners?

Joakim Soria – RP – Kansas City Royals – 1 W, 23 SV, 1.58 ERA, .75 WHIP, 44 K – In addition to the 23 saves, he gives you a great ERA and wonderful WHIP with solid strikeouts. And as a bonus you don't need antacid when watching him close out games. He's the anti-Todd Jones.

Brad Lidge – RP – Philadelphia Phillies – 2 W, 19 SV, .97 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 49 K – Of course the one year I don't gamble by drafting him as my first closer he turns into Goose Gossage. Thanks for nothing, a-hole.

Justin Duchscherer – SP – Oakland Athletics – 10 W, 1.78 ERA, .86 WHIP, 63 K – See: Dempster, Ryan. But add more awesomeness.

Aaron Cook – SP – Colorado Rockies – 11 W, 3.66 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 64 K – Gentleman: I give you...an ownable Rockies pitcher. Shhhh! Don't tap on the glass, you'll spook him.

You Tube - Gem of the Week

2008-07-08T23:55:00.004-04:00

"Lookwell" was a television pilot written by Robert Smigel(creator of Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog) and Conan O'Brien before he was Conan O'Brien. "Lookwell" stars Adam West as Ty Lookwell, an actor who peaked in the '70's but who still clings to his 15 minutes of fame from his one TV show. Using the skills that he learned as a '70's detective "Bannigan," Lookwell trys to involve himself in solving crimes, when not auditioning for "Happy Days: The Next Generation," or teaching an acting class. The best gags include Lookwell using his acting "skills" to go undercover to solve crimes.

If you like your humor dry, and think that the best way to go undercover at homeless fundraiser is to dress like a hobo, please check out "Lookwell."

Achievers/Bums – Fourth of July Weekend Edition

2008-07-07T14:02:00.005-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Milwaukee Brewers – Renting players for the playoff stretch is always a risky move. However, the Brewers made a shrewd move in acquiring the reigning AL Cy Young winner.

With a pretty good numbers against the NL, (12-6, 3.74 ERA and 167/59 K/BB ratio in 190 interleague innings), Sabathia gives the Brewer’s a lethal arm for the rest of the season. With Prince Fielder at 1B and Ryan Braun in LF, the Brewers were able to trade 1B/OF prospect Matt LaPorta without gutting themselves for the long run. Even if they do not resign Sabathia, the two draft picks will be worth the risk.

JJ Hardy – SS - Milwaukee Brewers – Speaking of the Brew Crew, JJ Hardy celebrated the holiday weekend by breaking out the big bat. Over last four games, Hardy cranked out 11 hits, including four home runs. Hardy is notoriously streaky. If you have him on your team, take advantage of the good Brewer’s press and his hot streak to sell him high ASAP.

Andre Ethier – OF – Los Angeles Dodgers - Ethier is taking full advantage of Juan Pierre’s virgin trip to the DL. Over the weekend in San Francisco, Ethier scored five runs on seven hits. While hitting in the two-spot for the weak hitting Dodgers is nothing special, Ethier should be able to help you with runs and average. Most importantly, he is probably sitting on the waiver wire as we speak, but not for long. Pick him up for some short-term OF help.

United States of America – 232 years old, and still going strong. In your face, King George III!

BUMS

Chicago Cubs – Not only did the Cubbies and their big check book miss out on CC Sabathia, they let a rival team in their division pick him up. Instead of a reigning Cy Young winner, the Lovable Losers are rumored to be in the hunt for Kerry Wood’s AL doppelganger Rich Harden. For a team with deep pockets and Jason Marquis in their starting rotation, missing out on CC is inexcusable and picking up Harden is suicide.

Elijah Dukes – OF – Washington Nationals – Since June 1, Dukes had been treating the baseball like his wife, smacking six HRs in addition to stealing seven bases. Please note the “had” in that previous sentence, as Dukes is now out for four-to-six weeks . Send him back to the waiver wire where he belongs, and pray for Mrs. Dukes.

A-Rod –3B - New York Yankees It is easy to be an A-Rod hater. With his movie star looks and more money than the Pope, on top of playing for the Evil Empire, there is plenty of ammunition. That being said, having your divorce tried in the New York Post is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. But on the other hand, Madonna? You are friggin’ Alex Rodriguez, and you are throwing your hot dog down that hallway? I don’t get it.

Preason Predictions Revisited - "Bums" Addition

2008-07-07T12:42:00.003-04:00

"I didn't blame anyone … But I went out and achieved anyway!"

The season is half over. Now seems like a good time to go back through the notes and compare my pre-draft predictions to reality. Here are some guys that I thought would achieve, and a few who did not disappoint in their failure.

Chris Young – SP – San Diego Padres – Young is one of those players that is always thiiiiiiisss close to being very good. He has enough talent and puts together enough hot streaks to tease you into thinking this season could be The Season. After reading about his off-season conditioning, plus factoring in his hot 2007 pre-All Star (8-3, 2.00 ERA, 99 Ks) and home stats (1.69 ERA and 0.96 WHIP), I ranked him fairly high on my pitching list.

REALITY - BUM. While I did rank him highly, I luckily avoided him in all of my leagues (Points, HTH and Roto). While you can’t blame Young for getting hit in the nose, or hold him responsible for the Padres pathetic offense, he wasn’t doing much to win over managers this season. At the time of his injury, Young had a pedestrian 4-4 record with a 4.50 ERA. The ERA is particularly grievous considering that he plays his home games in Petco Park against the limp NL West (Get ready, guys, Eric Byrnes is up!). By the time he gets off of the DL, the Padres will be sellers, moving out what meager offensive players (Brian Giles, Marty Barrett) they had in the first place.

Nick Swisher – OF/1B – White Sox – Swisher has been one of my Moneyball crushes for the last few seasons. Like Young, he shows plenty of potential, but never really comes through. As a Points league fan, I have always been intrigued by his ability to get BBs (100 BBs in 2007 during a subpar season) in addition to his power (35 HRs in 2006). With the move to hitter’s ball park and a lineup sans Jack Cust, in addition to 1B/OF flexibility, Swisher had potential put to it all together.

REALITY – BUM – Swisher found a way to make managers yearn for the days of when he played in McAfee Coliseum. Even with a decent June (.305 avg., 7 HRs, 23RBIs, most of which were complied in four big games), his totals are still meager (.236 avg, 12 HRs, 39 RBIs). Swisher still continues to show flashes, but his Bum status for 2008 is firmly intact.

Brett Myers – SP – Philadelphia Phillies – In the years prior to his promotion to closer last season, Myers had been a pretty good SP, averaging around 200Ks per season. Since leagues do not factor in spousal abuse or observations on chromosomes, I thought that his limited innings in 2007 would provide a recharged arm for this season. Boy, was I wrong.

REALITY – BUM – It took the last few weeks for me to officially give up on Myers. For a while, it looked like he would be a useful streamer to use at home. Alas, it seems that Phillies management is about to give up on him also. Myers has stunk. I was able to move him to an eternally hopefully Phillies fan in my Points league, but this was before his last few starts, which has seen his ERA balloon to 5.84 before his sojourn to AAA.

Rafael Furcal – SS – LA Dodgers – “Money changes everything,” once sang baseball sage Cyndi Lauper. With his contract with the Dodgers coming due, on top of an impressive performance Caribbean World Series, Furcal looked a like a great SS to pick up in later rounds as he pursued his next contract.

REALITY – BUM. Through the first month of the season, Furcal was one of the best players in baseball, hitting .366 and scoring 34 runs in 32 games. However, this came to screeching halt when a back injury sidelined him in early May. What was supposed to be a quick DL stint will now stretch into football season. Hopefully, if you drafted him, you were able to grab Christian Guzman or Ryan Theriot before they left Waiver Land. If not, please enjoy your time with Felipe Lopez.

Erik Bedard – SP - Seattle Mariners – I was never on-board the Seattle Mariners bandwagon in the pre-season. I just didn’t get it. Despite a decent starting staff and bullpen, I did not see how an AL team relying on Jose Vidro and Raul Ibanez for offense could be considered competitive. However, what about their pitching? Despite playing for the Orioles in the offensive heavy AL East, Erik Bedard had a breakthrough season with a 13 wins, 3.16 ERA and 221 Ks in just 182 innings in 2007. Would this carry over into 2008?

REALITY – BUM. Perhaps a closer look at the above numbers gives a hint to Bedard’s shortcomings this season. Despite his obvious talent, Bedard has struggled with various injuries throughout the years, never reaching 200 innings in a season. With only 81 innings so far, this season will not end his dubious streak. With a rotten attitude and awful team, a trade to the NL (Philadelphia has been rumored) might be the best move for Bedard and the Mariners.

Brewers Land Big One

2008-07-06T23:27:00.009-04:00

Reports that pitcher CC Sabathia has been traded to the Milwaukee Brewers have been confirmed. So Prince Fielder finally has a teammate he can call fat. I think this is a win for everyone involved. Fantasy owners have to be happy with a move to the National League for Sabathia, where he will now devour lowly NL Central hitters like so much bratwurst. I also think Ben Sheets owners should be happy as Sheets seems like the type of guy who will flourish with a little less pressure on him. Sabathia has got to be giddy at the prospect of those slimming home pinstripes. Indians fans can take solace in the fact that they at least got a nice prospect in Matt Laporta for Sabathia. Lastly, Brewers fans have to be thrilled to have a bona fide ace who, like them, is fat.

10 First Half Surprise Achievers (Hitters)

2008-07-03T12:02:00.011-04:00

"...and proud we are of all of them."

Josh Hamilton – OF – Texas Rangers – .308 BA, 19 HR, 82 RBI – A lot of people thought Hamilton would have a nice year, but did anyone really predict this?

Nate McLouth – OF – Pittsburgh Pirates – .281 BA, 15 HR, 53 RBI, 60 R, 9 SB– On pace for 30 HR, 100 RBI and 20 SB. Pretty good for a guy that wasn't even drafted in any of my leagues.

Adrian Gonzalez – 1B – San Diego Padres – .288 BA, 21 HR, 68 RBI– These are some awesome power numbers to be putting up at Petco.

Carlos Quentin – OF – Chicago White Sox – .280 BA, 19 HR, 61 RBI– A move from the D-backs to the White Sox has apparently sparked Quentin to deliver on his 1st round draft pick promise.

Ryan Ludwick – OF – St. Louis Cardinals – .288 BA, 16 HR, 56 RBI, 52 R, 4 SB – What does LaRussa have these outfielders drinking? Wait, don't answer that.

Pat Burrell – OF – Philadelphia Phillies – .275 BA, 15 HR, 52 RBI – He's cooled off a bit, but fantasy owners have to be pleasantly surprised with his production in the first half.

Marcus Thames – 1b/OF – Detroit Tigers – .276 BA, 16 HR, 35 RBI – In 55 games, he already has as many HRs as Prince Fielder, Manny Ramirez and Mark Teixeira. That's value, folks.

Jason Giambi – 1b/DH – New York Yankees – .268 BA, 18 HR, 52 RBI – Was it the gold thong or the stache that rekindled Giambi's bat? Let the debate rage on.

Milton Bradley – OF – Texas Rangers – .320 BA, 17 HR, 51 RBI, 51 R – Bradley is having a career year in Texas.

J.D. Drew – OF – Boston Red Sox – .302 BA, 16 HR, 51 RBI, 59 R – Shop him while he's hot.

Achievers/Bums - 06/29/08

2008-06-30T08:31:00.003-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Kevin Slowey – SP – Minnesota Twins – Win, 9 IP, 3 H, 0 BB, 9 K’s – Slowey shutout the Brewers and is definitely worth an add if he's still available in your league. Slowey has great control, as evidenced by his career K/BB ratio of 101/20. He won't be this good usually, but he won't burn you either.

John Lackey – SP – Los Angeles Angels – Win, 8.2 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 9 K’s – One out away from the complete-game shutout. Lackey owners have to be thrilled that Lackey hasn't missed a beat since coming back from a strained triceps injury.

Grady Sizemore – OF – Cleveland Indians – 2/5, 1 HR 1 RBI, 2 R, 1 SB – Sizemore is on a hot streak, and I'm going to go ahead and predict a 40/40 season for Grady this year. You heard it here first.

BUMS

Jake Peavy – SP – San Diego Padres – Loss, 6 IP, 10 H, 3 ER, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 6 K's – The reigning Cy Young Award winner is starting to get frustrated with the lack of run support, and understandably so. Peavy is a gamer and he's going to strike guys out, but fantasy owners have to wonder if he will regain his 2007 form anytime soon.

Erik Bedard – SP – Seattle Mariners – Win, 5.2 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 3 K's – Speaking of hoping he returns to 2007 form... Yeah, I know he got the win, but Bedard has been a steaming pile of disappointment so far this year by all accounts. Fantasy owners didn't draft him where they did to see 3 K's in 5.2 IP.

Yankees Offense – Really? 3 H, 1 R & 8 K's against Oliver Perez? Really?

CC Is a Big, Fat Achiever

2008-06-28T08:48:00.011-04:00

CC Sabathia went 8 scoreless innings and struck out 11 as the Indians shutout the Reds last night. He continues to show why he is considered the top pitcher on the trade market.

Grady Sizemore made an amazing catch and hit a bomb last night.

Jar Jurrjens continued his impressive rookie campaign last night with a strong 8-inning performance against the Blue Jays. He only struck out 3 though, and it may be a good time to try to move him to an owner who's willing to overpay for a rookie pitcher.

Looks like Mark Teixeira is starting his second half hot streak early this year.

Carlos Delgado had 9 RBI! You still don't need him.

Bobby Abreu went 4-for-4 with 3 RBI and 2 SB in the second game of the Yankees double-header with the Mets.

Hideki Matsui is headed to the DL due to lingering knee issues.

J.D. Drew owners hope David Ortiz stays down for awhile. He hit his 11th HR of June last night, backing an encouraging start by Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Joe Saunders did not get his 12th win last nigh t.

I'd be surprised if anyone started Chan Ho Park last night against the Angels. But if they did, they were rewarded with a win and 7 k's. I'm still not picking him up just yet though.

The Rich Harden Dilemma

2008-06-26T23:12:00.005-04:00

As a Rich Harden owner, I am basking in the glow of his dominant performance against the Phillies this afternoon, but I'm sure many fantasy owners are wondering if it's time to sell high. The obvious answer is yes, but I'm not trying to move him. I've had an unhealthy relationship with Rich for awhile and I own him in almost every league I'm in. I've actually made an offer on him in the one league where I don't own him, and I had someone offer me Justin Duchscereherhrrehrer for him straight up in another league. (I pushed the "reject" button with my middle finger by the way.) The point is, right now I don't think anyone knows exactly what to do with Rich Harden.

He's made nine consecutive starts for the first time since 2005 and he's pitching like the ace everyone knew he could be if he could just stay healthy. But as Brandt posted earlier tonight, his arm actually may fall off mid-inning any day now. The guy is so fragile he makes Bobby Crosby look like Cal Ripken. Earlier this year when the A's flew to Japan I was actually nervous about how my Rich would handle the plane ride. What's to prevent him from getting a stiff neck? Then when he came back from his DL stint earlier this season he had a goatee, and all I could think about was whether or not the new facial hair could lead to some sort of rash or shaving incident that would leave him incapacitated. This is what owning Rich Harden for 4 years does do to you.

The reason I'm not moving him (other than the obvious man-crush) is that I don't think you'll get value for him. For example, I don't think you'll get an elite pitcher in return for him. Why would someone send you a top-tier pitcher for a guy who is more fragile physically than Zach Grienke is emotionally? Hey, if you can get Roy Halladay for Harden, do it, but the offers are going to be more like the one I got earlier. You'll get offers like the Douche Hammer or Ryan Dempster or, if your lucky, Joe Saunders. And I wouldn't take any of those guys over Harden. I'd much rather have a guy that, if healthy, can go on a run to take your team to the promised land, than less talented guys who will give you innings and decent numbers. Those guys are easily replaceable by working the waiver wire, but a healthy Harden is not. Also, if you own Harden you probably didn't have to pay too much to get him. I took him in the 9th round of a 12-team points league, which may have been a round too high, but it's not too bad for the upside of Harden. Bottom line is unless someone offers you something too good to pass up, I'd just hang on and enjoy the ride, understanding that he probably will break your heart. Again.

Achievers/Bums – 06/26/08

2008-06-26T22:17:00.004-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Scott Rolen – 3B – Toronto Blue Jays – 2/4, HR, 3 RBIs – Not a repeat. I took my own advice (see below) and helped offset Chipper’s absence this week. He is not going to be very good, but he might be worth a spot on your bench if you own Lawrence.

Rich Harden – SP – Oakland A’s – Win, 8.0 IP, 11 K’s – Phenomenal effort against a hard-hitting Phillies team. However, his arm will literally fall off at one point.

Nick Markakis – OF – Baltimore Orioles – 1/3, 2 RBIs, 2 BBs – Not much of game, but it is indicative of his recent play. He is starting to hit his stride after a slow start. Buy low now before he starts to get notice.

BUMS

Josh Hamilton –OF– Texas Rangers – 0-0, HBP, Left Game – If you can’t root for Hamilton, you are missing your heart. However, it might be time to sell high. Tonight’s game is the second time this week that he has left a game. As pointed out here, due to Hamilton’s past issues, he can’t take painkillers when hurt.

Chase Utley – 2B – Philadelphia Phillies – 0/4 – Just like in my front yard, Utley’s drought continues. No HRs since 6/13. He is still better than your 2B.

Ed Wade – GM – Houston Astros – Def. by Shawn Chacon – Rd. 1. I am going to play devil’s advocate with this one. How do you put yourself in a position to get beat up by your own player? Be the grown-up. Maybe that’s what you get for signing Shawn Chacon in the first place.

Shawn Chacon Goes Gangsta!

2008-06-26T13:35:00.005-04:00

In addition to being a bad pitcher, we now know that Shawn Chacon is a bad guy. He choked out his GM Ed Wade yesterday because Wade had the temerity to call Chacon into the office for a chat. Check out Chacon's version of the events:

“He started yelling and cussing,” Chacon said of Wade, according to a story on the Chronicle’s Web site. “I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me. Then I stood up and said, ‘You better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling.”

Chacon said that after Wade told him he needed to “look in the mirror,” it got worse.

“So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him,” he said. “Words were exchanged.”

So "words were exchanged" huh? Hey Shawn, I got a word for ya': unemployed.

Gary Sheffield Is an Angry Achiever

2008-06-26T13:18:00.010-04:00

Gary Sheffield had a homer and a walk-off hit last night. Also, he's an angry, angry man. Still, you probably want to add him if he's available. If nothing else, he is great trade bait if he gets on a hot streak.

Albert Pujols has been activated from the disabled list by the Cards. He should be back in the lineup today.

David Ortiz took 25 swings on a tee without any issues, but it appears he is still a few weeks away from returning to the lineup.

Aaron Harang has been a shell of himself the last few starts. He's only had one good start since he Dusty pitched him in the 13th-16th innings against the Padres in May.

Mike Gonzalez picked up his second save in two chances last night. Looks like he is the answer at closer for the Braves as he doesn't have much competition.

Joba Chamberlain threw 114 pitches and got his first win as a starter last night. He struck out 7 and walked 1.

Joakim Soria got his 21st save last night while striking out two.

I'm Having a Zack Attack!

2008-06-25T09:30:00.012-04:00

Zack Attack!

Achievers/Bums - 6/24/08

2008-06-24T22:53:00.009-04:00

ACHIEVERS

Scott Rolen – 3B – Toronto Blue Jays – 2/4, HR, 4 RBIs – Granted, it was against Bronson Arroyo, but you could worse for a #2 3B than Rolen, especially if you are Chipper owner.

Jonathan Sánchez – SP – San Francisco Giants – Win, 7.2 IP, 8 K’s – Pretty impressive for a NL pitcher on the road against an AL team. With their starting pitching (Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez), how good could the Giants be if they were not held back by Zito’s awful contract?

AJ Burnett – SP – Toronto Blue Jays – W, 8.0 IP, 7K’s – The JD Drew of pitchers, AJ Burnett is highly favored in my “Death Pool” list of perpetual injured pitchers (Rich Harden, Ben Sheets). One of these guys will actually spontaneously combust on the field one day. Write it down. You heard it here.

BUMS

Bronson Arroyo – SP – Cincinnati Reds – 1.0 IP, 10 ER – Yeah, it is pretty easy to pick on Arroyo. However, I have never forgiven him for this game last year, so he gets top billing as a bum.

Oliver Perez – SP – New York Mets – L, 5.0 IP, 5 ER – I don’t expect much out of the Mets at this point, but there is no excuse for getting cranked by the Mariners. Oliver Perez continues to undermine my belief in contract year performance as he falls to 5-5 with 5.29 ERA.

Bronson Arroyo Is Not an Achiever

2008-06-24T20:23:00.005-04:00

Some of the reasons I hate Bronson:

1.) His line tonight against the light-hitting Blue Jays:

1ip, 11h, 10er, 1bb, 1k, 3hr. Bad even for Bronson.

2.) This commercial. Bronson's vocals make me want to punch myself in the ears.

3.) He covers post-grunge staples.

Screw you and your cornrows, Bronson. Go back to Boston where you probably wouldn't even make the team.

Ben Sheets Is an Achiever

2008-06-24T12:34:00.005-04:00

Ben Sheets looked pretty studly last night against the Chipper-less Braves.

King Felix hit a bomb off Johan Santana but had to leave the game with an ankle injury.

John Lackey owners have to be happy with this his current winning streak which continued last night against the Nats.

Is it just me, or are guys getting hit in the face with balls much more frequently this year?

Who is Jeff Baker?

2008-06-23T15:47:00.003-04:00

Jeff Baker is a utility guy for the Rockies who's been filling in at 2b for Clint Barmes and he was just crowned NL Player of the Week. Hitting .435 with an SLG% of 1.043, Baker had a mammoth week that included home runs in four straight games. He's eligible in Yahoo standard leagues at 1b, 2b and OF. So should you go out and pick him up?

The Good: As mentioned, he is eligible at 1b, 2b and OF - and he's mashing.

The Bad: Barmes is back, and Clint Hurdle says he will be back at 2b, so Baker's playing time will decrease significantly once interleague play is completed.

The Ugly: Baker's K/BB is 36/8. Also he kind of reminds me of Dolph Lundgren, but with a bigger jaw.

Bottom Line: I'd only pick him up if you are desperate for a 2b this week. You may be able to ride his hot streak while he is still getting at bats.