Achievers/Bums - 7/30/08

ACHIEVERS

Adam Dunn - OF - Cincinnati Reds - 3/5, 2 HR - Adam Dunn might hit 40 HR's in the second half. Adam Dunn wants to eat your children. Adam Dunn eats flour and poops pancakes. Adam Dunn makes Bill Brasky look like a hobo.

Bobby Abreu - OF - New York Yankees - 3/4, 2 HR, 2B, 3 RBI, 4 R, BB - Bobby had a big day for the Yankees against the Orioles yesterday. He's getting hot at just the right time for owners needing to make a big move down the stretch.

Chad Billingsley - SP - Los Angeles Dodgers - CG Shutout, 5 H, 0 BB, 8 K's - Someone call Mulder and Scully, because this kid is "the truth". He's shutting teams out and he's doing it with K's. Billingsley has crossed over into keeper territory in most formats. I know you think it's too late, but make an offer for him anyway (unless you're in a league with me). People can be idiots, and you may get lucky.


BUMS

The Astros - Well, the Astros have gone and made another move to bolster their pitching staff for the stretch run. On Wednesday they received LaTroy Hawkins from the Yankees for a ham sandwich. When notified of the trade, Hawkins seemed almost as surprised as me: "I'm pretty excited," he said. "I was sitting at home doing nothing. Now all of a sudden a team wants me. I'm pretty excited about that." That's right, LaTroy - Ed Wade wants to drink your bathwater. Wade went on about how LaTroy is a "competitor" blah, blah, blah. The same blather he was spouting after the Wolf trade. So far, so bad on that one, by the way. I don't know exactly how much of Hawkins salary the Astros are going to have to pick up, but regardless of the amount, it's a waste. Sometimes I just want to choke Ed Wade. To celebrate the new addition, the Astros went out and got throttled by the Reds.

Fernando Rodney - RP - Detroit Tigers - Blown Save - F--- Rodney.

Jared from Subway - I'm sorry, but he's getting fat again. I don't have proof, but I can sense it.

Achievers/Bums - 07/13/08

ACHIEVERS

Chad Billingsley – SP – Los Angeles Dodgers – Win, 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 13 K’s – Billingsley is the real deal. He pitched a brilliant game against the fish last night, striking out thirteen and walking none. This is a guy I have tried to get in a couple of leagues, but probably didn't try hard enough. He had a pretty good first half, and after last night's start, the window to acquire him at a fair price may have just slammed shut.

CC Sabathia – SP – Milwakee Brewers – Win, 9 IP, 2 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 9 K’s – C.C. didn't appear to have his best stuff in the early innings, but the Reds didn't capitalize on the opportunities they had, and Sabathia went nine to secure the win. The turning point in the game was when C.C. cranked a no-doubter home run into the right field bleachers off of Homer Bailey in the bottom of the third. Sabathia has looked solid in his first two starts as a Brewer, and I expect him to have a phenomenal second half.

Carlos Beltran – OF – New York Mets – 3/4, 1 HR 3 RBI – Beltran has come alive in the last month, hitting eight HRs with twenty-four RBI in that span. The Mets have won their last nine games and they'll need Beltran keep playing at this level if they're going to make the playoffs. A lot of people say Reyes is the key to the Mets' success, but I think it's on Beltran. Reyes and Wright are going to be good, but will Beltran be able to deliver that kind of second half he did with the Astros in 2004?

BUMS

Derek Jeter – SS – New York Yankees – 0/4, 2 K's – Jeter has been moved into the leadoff spot with Damon out, and has actually been pretty good in that role so far, but he was owned by A.J. Burnett yesterday. I know I pick on Yankees' hitters a lot, but remember they were supposed to be the juggernaut, bitch? (link NSFW)

Jose Contreras – SP – Chicago White Sox – Loss, 4 IP, 10 H, 7 ER, 2 BB, 2 K's – Contreras has had some good moments in the first half, but he got mauled yesterday. Manager Ozzie Guillen - normally not prone to hyperbole - said, "I've never seen such a poorly pitched game in all of my years in baseball." So did he miss Gavin Floyd's start the other day or what?

Andrew Miller – SP – Florida Marlins – Loss, 1.2 IP, 5 H, 7 ER, 5 BB, 3 K's – I guess Ozzie missed this one too. Miller's line from Sunday night is just ugly to look at. We're talking Bronson Arroyo ugly. Remember when you blew a waiver spot on this guy when he got called up by the Tigers a couple of years ago? Yeah, it might be time to go ahead and admit that was a mistake.