This Ain't 'Nam #2

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

Thank God baseball is back today. Here are some rules to get you ready for the second half.

Rule #1 - The National League will find a way to lose the All-Star game.

Rule #2 - There isn't one pitcher I would trust pitching at Coors Canaveral. Humidor or no humidor.

Rule #3 - If you aren't rooting for Josh Hamilton, you are a holier-than-thou loser and people don't like you.

Rule #4 - The number of Quality Starts is a better indicator of a good fantasy starting pitcher than his number of Wins.

Rule #5 - "There are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born fat, and there's people that were once thin but became fat...so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside." As usual, Bender was right.

The Natural Puts on a Show in the Bronx

Josh Hamilton just put on a show unlike any I have ever seen. He set a record with 28 first-round homers in the Home Run Derby, and it was electric. Each bomb he hit was more impressive than the one before it. He said earlier in the day that he wouldn't be surprised to see someone hit it out of the stadium, and now I understand why. I actually thought he had hit a couple completely out, but I think they just barely missed. I know he hit a few over 500 feet - the longest at 518! After each towering fly ball he hit, I found myself jumping out of my seat and just watching in amazement. He apparently had a dream two years ago in which he was being interviewed in Yankee Stadium after participating in a Home Run Derby, and tonight it became a reality. Like most of the rest of America, I'm mesmerized with his story and feel like I'm watching a movie script play out. Maybe I'm a little caught up in the moment, but when Yankee Stadium erupted in chants of "Ham-il-ton, Ham-il-ton," I'll admit I got goose bumps.

10 First Half Surprise Achievers (Hitters)

"...and proud we are of all of them."

Josh Hamilton – OF – Texas Rangers – .308 BA, 19 HR, 82 RBI – A lot of people thought Hamilton would have a nice year, but did anyone really predict this?

Nate McLouth – OF – Pittsburgh Pirates – .281 BA, 15 HR, 53 RBI, 60 R, 9 SB– On pace for 30 HR, 100 RBI and 20 SB. Pretty good for a guy that wasn't even drafted in any of my leagues.

Adrian Gonzalez – 1B – San Diego Padres – .288 BA, 21 HR, 68 RBI– These are some awesome power numbers to be putting up at Petco.

Carlos Quentin – OF – Chicago White Sox – .280 BA, 19 HR, 61 RBI– A move from the D-backs to the White Sox has apparently sparked Quentin to deliver on his 1st round draft pick promise.

Ryan Ludwick – OF – St. Louis Cardinals – .288 BA, 16 HR, 56 RBI, 52 R, 4 SB – What does LaRussa have these outfielders drinking? Wait, don't answer that.

Pat Burrell – OF – Philadelphia Phillies – .275 BA, 15 HR, 52 RBI – He's cooled off a bit, but fantasy owners have to be pleasantly surprised with his production in the first half.

Marcus Thames – 1b/OF – Detroit Tigers – .276 BA, 16 HR, 35 RBI – In 55 games, he already has as many HRs as Prince Fielder, Manny Ramirez and Mark Teixeira. That's value, folks.

Jason Giambi – 1b/DH – New York Yankees – .268 BA, 18 HR, 52 RBI – Was it the gold thong or the stache that rekindled Giambi's bat? Let the debate rage on.

Milton Bradley – OF – Texas Rangers – .320 BA, 17 HR, 51 RBI, 51 R – Bradley is having a career year in Texas.

J.D. Drew – OF – Boston Red Sox – .302 BA, 16 HR, 51 RBI, 59 R – Shop him while he's hot.