Achievers/Bums - 8/12/08

Man, it's weird to see Adam Dunn on a winning team. So, we take a couple of days off, and all hades breaks loose. Carlos Lee and Carl Crawford out for the year? Evan Longoria out three to four weeks? Hey, at least no one was counting on production from those guys in the second half. The Big Donkey to the Diamondbacks? (He'll still hit his 40). USA Swimming is sweeping the nation? Aaron Harang gets rocked in his return to action? OK, I should've seen the last one coming become Aaron Harang hates me and wants to ruin my life.

ACHIEVERS

Michael Phelps/USA Swimming - 4 Gold Medals and counting - I never thought I'd give a crap about swimming and I had Michael Phelps fatigue before the Olympics started, but now I'm eating it up. That bitch-slap our boys put on the French was one of the coolest things I've seen in sports ever. Oh, and in case you missed it - Michael Phelps gets his food on in an epic way.

David Ortiz/Kevin Youkilis - Boston Red Sox - combined 5/9, 4 HR, 11 RBI, 6 R, 3 BB - In a game versus the Rangers that was packed with offensive goodness, these guys were the biggest studs. Honorable mention to Dustin Pedroia, Ian Kinsler and Marlon Byrd.

Gary Sheffield - OF/DH - Detroit Tigers - 2/4, 2 HR - Gary Sheffield hits better when he's angry, which is pretty much always. The Tigers placed him on waivers Tuesday, which will probably make him even angrier, so expect lots of violently struck baseballs off the bat of angry Sheff.

Javier Vazquez - SP - Chicago White Sox - Win, 8.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 10 K - Vazquez has been rocky so far in the second half, but I still think he can be a hidden gem if you need another SP to help you in the stretch run. He doesn't always get to face the Royals, unfortunately, but he'll rack up strikeouts and get you some wins because he's on a good team.

Nick Markakis - OF - Baltimore Orioles - 2/3, 2B, 2 RBI, SF - Ladies and gentleman, I give you: the new Bobby Abreu. Granted, he's not Bobby Abreu in his prime, but he's the current Bobby Abreu, which is still pretty darn good. He's had a great season so far and he should be a top-15 outfielder next year.

BUMS

Joel Zumaya - RP - Loss, BS, 2 ER, 2 H, 3 BB - Detroit Tigers - Seriously, I miss Todd Jones.