Achievers/Bums - 8/18/08

I've got to make this quick because the season premiere of "The Hills" is starting (if you click on the link, the ads will tell you all you need to know about the show). "The Hills" is one of those shows that I don't watch, but my wife watches. Which basically means that I complain about the show, but secretly watch it when she's not home. Tonight "my wife" is watching a double-feature of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" and "The Hills". I've already learned so many things tonight: the sextuplets like the beach, Audrina's family keeps her grounded, Miss Lippy's car... is green ("Billy Madison" has been playing continuously in my head since 1994 - I'm aware that the movie didn't come out until 1995, which makes it even weirder). I thought I would share all of this with you. Why? What's the significance? I don't know.

Light schedule, but there were some Achievers and, of course, worthless, pathetic Bums tonight.

ACHIEVERS

Gary Sheffield - OF - Detroit Tigers - 3/5, HR, 2 RBI, 2 R - Sheff is still very, very angry. Keep him in your lineup.

Jermaine Dye - OF - Chicago White Sox - 2/5, 2 2B, 2 RBI, 2 R - I still haven't forgiven myself for not picking Dye a couple of months ago. He was available and I needed to fill an outfield spot, but I picked Hawpe instead. Hawpe had a bad game and was dropped the next day. Dye hit two home runs and hasn't looked back since then. He just keeps producing.

Aubrey Huff - 2/4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI - In my points league, Huff ranks between Carlos Lee and Hanley Ramirez. I was not aware of that until just now. Huh. I still won't draft him next year. But hey, if you picked him up early in the year, you deserve a big cookie.

Jason Bay - OF - Boston Red Sox - 3/5, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 3 R, 1 SB - Just Jason being Jason.

The Dodgers - Great move to pick up Greg Maddux. He's not a great pitcher anymore, but he basically gives the Dodgers another pitching coach and he will be a great example for the rest of the pitching staff.

BUMS

Randy Wolf - SP - Houston Astros - Loss, 5.0 IP, 6 ER, 5 H, 3 BB, 1 HBP, 4 K - Ed Wade traded for Wolf because he was "a competitor". Perhaps he was referring to Wolf's Connect Four skillz, because the pitching has not been competitive. At all. Hey, at least the Astros have their, "foot in the door" for signing Wolf next year.

Spencer - D-bag - "The Hills" - If you've seen his act for at least ten seconds, you will concur. In a way, his D-baggery is so breathtaking that you almost have to admire it. But at the end of the day, if you saw him in person, you'd want to punch him in the throat.