I am cheap. I milk free trial subscriptions whenever possible. I gorge myself on the free samples at Costco. I steal hotel shampoo.
As you might imagine, I do not subscribe to HBO. I did, however, receive a phone call from Verizon offering me a free month of HBO and Cinemax, and as long as I cancel before the month is up, I don't pay a dime! But, wait, there's more!!! Actually, there's not more. Of course, I took them up on the deal, and it has been totally worth it thanks to "Hard Knocks". I can't get enough of sports documentaries. My favorite scene so far (I'm only halfway through the first episode) is when the Dallas players arrive for training camp and Adam (Pacman) Jones and Terrell Owens are talking (yelling to each other) about their respective weights. Adam asks Terrell what his current weight is, "Two-what?" (as in two-fifty). Owens' response, "Two-sexy".
On that note, I present to you three lists of ten:
Ten best sports Movies (some of the movie clips are nsfw):
I wanted to include TV shows, as it was "Hard Knocks" that got me on this topic in the first place, but I couldn't really think of any that I am familiar enough with to rank. Also, I'm only including movies that I've seen.
10.) "The Sandlot" - Do you love baseball? Were you ever a kid? If so, this movie will make you feel happy all over.
9.) "The Bad News Bears" - Most sports movies resort to sappiness, but "The Bad News Bears" was filled with kids who you knew from the neighborhood and was coached by your friend's divorcee dad.
8.) "Hoop Dreams" - Best. Documentary. Evar.
7.) "Raging Bull" - De Niro's performance as boxer Jake LaMotta is legendary.
6.) "The Wizard" - How can you not be a fan of a Fred Savage vehicle about a kid who, "...Scores 50,000 points on Double Dragon!!!!1" The product placement was shameless (Power Glove, anyone?). Bonus awesomeness: the movie features Jenny Lewis, of Rilo Kiley. Wait, you're saying video gaming isn't a sport?
5.) "Caddyshack" - The most quoted sports movie ever?
4.) "Happy Gilmore" - Yes, I have "Happy Gilmore" ranked above "Caddyshack". It's my list, so back off.
3.) "Hoosiers" - I want Gene Hackman to be my coach. In life.
2.) "The Big Lebowski" - You didn't think I was going to leave this one off the list did you?
1.) "The Natural" - The holy grail of sports movies for me. I could watch this movie on a loop for a week and still get goosebumps for the scene below.
Ten pitchers to target for next year's draft:
I'm not including Santana, Sabathia, Peavy, Halladay or Webb, because they are too obvious. Also, they will probably get taken too early. There are far too many pitchers available later in the draft to take these guys in the first two rounds. The following list is of pitchers you should be able to get later in the draft - at least after the 5th round in a 12-team league.
10.) Johnny Cueto - I think he'll be better than Volquez next year, as he has comparable stuff and better control.
9.) Clayton Kershaw - Lefty stud of the future in the NL Weak should have a strong 2009.
8.) Max Scherzer - The D-backs rotation is going to be sick next year, and Scherzer should be a big part of it. Again, let someone else take Webb or Haren in the 3rd round and grab Scherzer much later.
7.) Joba Chamberlain - Don't forget about Joba. He still strikes people out and plays for the Yankees.
6.) Brandon Morrow - Seattle's version of Joba throws 100 mph when he needs to and his slider and changeup are improving.
5.) Matt Garza - Garza is still maturing, but he's got a great offense behind him, and I think next year will be a step forward.
4.) Chad Billingsley - Strikeout machine in a pitcher's park? Yes, please.
3.) Rich Harden - He'll be available longer than he should because of the injury risk.
2.) Brett Myers - I really believe that he can still be a dominate pitcher. If he doesn't have too great a finish to the year, he'll be a great bargain.
1.) Tim Lincecum - Tiny Tim is all kinds of filthy, and I'd much rather have him in the 5th round than Peavy or Santana in the 2nd round. Actually, I might rather have him over those guys period.
Ten worst band names of all time:
10.) The Dave Matthews Band - Imagine how much more popular they would've been had they named their band "Suede Foreskin" or "Plaid Rattail".
9.) Live - "Live in concert, Live!!!" Really, it's not cute.
8.) Coldplay - You know how I know you're gay? You named your kid Apple. Also, you named your band Coldplay.
7.) Limp Bizkit - I picture a turd. You?
6.) Blink 182 - I'm all for having a mysterious band name, but after awhile it gets really tedious listening to all of the hilarious fake stories about its origins.
5.) Widespread Panic - Actually your music puts me to sleep. I'm panicking from boredom. I don't care how many college kids think you are cool. You suck.
4.) Panic! At the Disco - The exclamation point seems misplaced. (Clearly, I don't like band names with the word "Panic" in them.)
3.) Barenaked Ladies - Talk about disappointment. :(
2.) Hoobastank - Such a repulsive band name could only finish second to...
1.) Audioslave - If I was in 4th grade and had a band, I would name it Audioslave. Then I'd write Audioslave all over my Trapper Keeper in big, block letters.