Friday, August 8, 2008

This Ain't 'Nam #5

"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

So I'm a day late with the weekly rule set because yesterday I was so swept up in the Jet Favre mania that I couldn't even concentrate on baseball. Or I just forgot. I'm sure that you, our faithful reader, will forgive me for the delay.

Rule #1 - Never take a job that restricts access to fantasy baseball websites. Or blogs.

Rule #2 - It is okay to kick your dog whenever Keith Olbermann speaks. You're in pain, so why shouldn't your dog be in pain also.

Rule #3 - Stocking your pitching staff with high injury-risk/high reward guys (Harden, Sheets, Kazmir, Bedard, Burnett) can burn you. Don't be afraid to mix in a little Derek Lowe or Mike Mussina.

Rule #4 - Don't be so quick to judge Alanis Morrisette. Have you ever considered that she was actually being ironic by writing a song called "Ironic" which listed situations that were in no way ironic, such as requiring a solitary knife but being presented with several thousand spoons? Ah haaaaah...hmmmm.... ? Did I just blow your mind? No? OK, then.

Rule #5 - No matter how much you swear that you won't let it happen, when you have a kid, he/she will undoubtedly love this guy. You laugh derisively now, but just wait and see who gets the last laugh. (Hint: he'll be purple).

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