"This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
Damn, right Walter. This ain't 'Nam. If it was 'Nam, the first pick in the draft would probably be Kyle Farnsworth or, I don't know... Milton Bradley. I bet those guys would kick major ass all decked out in camo and face paint with AK-47s and no rules.
But this ain't 'Nam and this is ain't no Outback Steakhouse. There are rules. Here are 5:
Rule #1 - Just because a guy is a rookie phenom who plays for your favorite team doesn't mean he's a better outfield option than Raul Ibanez. (I'm looking at you Jay Bruce.)
Rule #2 - The Cubs will never win anything.
Rule #3 - You can't win your league with rookie pitchers, but you can trade them to suckers in your league for Chipper Jones.
Rule #4 - Derek Jeter will always be drafted way too high, and Orlando Cabrera will always be available for way too long.
Rule #5 - It's all about K/BB ratio. Period.